


Indolence

by TellThemNaegi



Series: Before the Fall [2]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Ambiguous Relationships, Angst, Developing Friendships, Multi, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-30
Updated: 2017-05-30
Packaged: 2018-11-06 18:18:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 24,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11041647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TellThemNaegi/pseuds/TellThemNaegi
Summary: The other side.





	Indolence

“Awake already…as usual, Makoto. ”

The time was 6:00 am in the morning. Makoto Naegi stood by the window-side gazing and humming in tandem at the rising sun. Upon hearing the call from behind, his attention shifted to the owner; a long sheet of curtain separating the beds the boys laid on.  The curtains had been pulled, revealing a scruffy white-haired boy staring at him with tired, slightly irritated, gray eyes.

Whoops, he’d made too much noise and woke his “roommate”.  The currently vexed boy was Nagito Komaeda, the ultimate lucky student; the two had known each other for nearly a year. As for whether they got along, that was still up for debate.

“What could possibly be so interesting about staring at the same view, day after day? I don’t personally care but you know Tsumiki won’t be quite as indifferent as I, if she finds you awake at this hour?”

“My bad, I got up a while ago. It was kind of boring so I thought I’d watch the sun rise.” He explained

 “I’ll never understand the common people…oh that’s right, I forgot you’re like me – in that case, you’re not quite _that_ worthless. Do yourself a favor and get some sleep, you’ll need it to be active during the day.” He warned, or maybe it was a bit of friendly advice.

Makoto wasn’t sure whether the older teen liked him very much. When they first met, Komaeda held nothing but disdain for him and Makoto soon learned that spectrum of animosity held true for everyone who wasn’t an Ultimate at Hope’s Peak Academy or affiliated with talent. He also liked to talk about hope a lot…whatever he meant by that, Makoto didn’t understand. He thought Komaeda’s passion was good though and he admired people who felt so strongly about their beliefs.

Then again, their relationship had improved a great deal (or so he hoped) over time; Komaeda actually _looked_ at Makoto now and his insults were much less hurtful.

“I’ll be going to the convenience store later this afternoon, I don’t mind grabbing you something…if that’s what you want.” He asked, facing the other direction.

“No, I’m fine.” Makoto declined the offer; he didn’t want to be an inconvenience.

Komaeda responded with a disappointed gesture at his rejection. Ah well, looks like he couldn’t catch a break.

Makoto had asked Nagito one day how he could just up and leave whenever he wanted. “My parents used to be one of the facility’s biggest donors…and in a way, still are since I sponsor them with my inheritance. Far be it from me to do as I please against the wishes of my betters but they can’t really go against me” was the answer he received.

He had the urge to ask Komaeda whether it was even safe for him to go out. The luckster was diagnosed with fronto-temporal dementia and it _showed:_ the boy’s hair was ghostly and unkempt, his skin pale and his figure, abnormally thin.

Naegi suppressed that urge because it was an unnecessary concern. Komaeda was meant to have died years ago. His continued survival was inexplicable by medicine but Makoto knew better than anyone else that it was a testament to how overpowering Komaeda’s luck, his _talent_ was.  The older teen had described his luck as a cycle that swings between fortune and misfortune but he seemed to believe that everything balanced out to good luck in the end.

Makoto hadn’t agreed at first, Komaeda had given him some very personal instances of where he believed his good luck prevailed. In exchange for wealth and acceptance into Hope’s Peak, Komaeda had lost his family, his pet and even his good health.  “How could anything have been worth that?” Makoto had argued back.

Their dissenting opinions often lead to conflict whenever Komaeda brought up something insensitive and he was too stubborn to back off.

Their words cut deeper each time

One day, a few overly strong words were thrown around from both sides and as a result, a fight broke out between them.  Of course, Makoto had never started a fist fight in his life and it wouldn’t start with a sick patient. Komaeda on the other hand, didn’t have those reservations. He had doubted that Komaeda knew what real hope was. The other boy dismissed his words as the nonsense of the talentless, as he always did.

But this time Komaeda said something else that put Naegi off the edge and the shorter male responded with what he believed to be the truth; that Komaeda’s set his sights on a fake hope to act as a self-defense mechanism to cope with his destructive life experiences….Okay, admittedly Makoto hadn’t put it nearly so nicely. Unlike the previous instances where Makoto wanted to help Komaeda by calling his obsession unhealthy, this time he spoke with every intention of hurting the luckster.

It was an ugly emotion he had never experienced before and made worse by the unbearable silence that permeated the room as he finished. Frankly, he never wanted to feel that way again…not that it lasted very long since Komaeda hadn’t taken the accusation well and tackled him to the floor

He wore a visceral expression…Makoto didn’t think he’d ever seen that much anger directed towards him before – that even included a criminal whose heist he  had foiled once.

The next thing Makoto knew, Komaeda started wheezing and clutching his chest. Not long after, he was rushed into intensive care

The two didn’t see each other for several weeks after that.  Mikan usually kept Makoto updated whenever he asked. At first she had told him he was in critical condition but his health had improved somewhat over time…relatively speaking.

That time period gave Makoto a lot of time to think (not that he could do much else) about whether his actions were right. To begin with, he didn’t really understand Komaeda in the first place. Sure, he knew about the other boy’s exploits but there was a difference between knowing and understanding.

Knowing was easy, you just needed to absorb information.

Understanding was complex, you needed to identify an experience and empathize with the situation. That couldn’t be achieved without sharing similar experiences and even then it’s not certain.

Naegi didn’t understand Komaeda. Maybe their circumstances were a little similar but it wasn’t nearly enough, which resulted in a difference of perspective. To begin with, he didn’t have the right to shove his views on other people’s throats and Komaeda didn’t even look like he wanted help anyway.

He didn’t give off the air of the weak and he was confident in just about everything he did. Even when putting himself down in front of other ultimates, he did it with absolute conviction in his mindset.

In short, the one who was wrong clearly had to have been him; what right did he have to criticize the quality of another’s life Moreover, Komaeda was more experienced and intelligent so that would also make the older patient more credible than Naegi in nearly every relevant area.

That’s when he decided to apologize and concede when Komaeda returned.

When that day came, Makoto had nearly tackled him like an overexcited puppy much to the older teen’s apparent discomfort.

Naegi did apologize but Komaeda acted like he didn’t know what he was referring to.  He didn’t know whether Komaeda wanted him to drop it or he really forgot because of his illness…Makoto didn’t think it mattered either.

But on the subject of reminiscing about the past, it was nearly a year since he and Komaeda had first met. Naegi didn’t know the other boy’s birthday (more like he avoided the subject), maybe he could celebrate the anniversary of their meeting instead. Would that be alright though?

 “Makoto!” He recognized the voice instantly for it belonged to his little sister, Komaru Naegi.

Makoto couldn’t see Komaeda’s face but he had no doubt that he’d be a liiitle pissed off. He and Komaru got along even worse than they did and the white-haired boy was NOT a morning person.

“…The nuisance is back, I see.” Komaeda began.

Makoto grabbed Komaru’s wrist and brought her into the hallways but not before Komaru blew raspberries at the tired Komaeda.  She’s still such a kid.

“Komaru! It’s great to see you and all but…don’t you have school?” One would think it would be a violation of visiting hours but his case was a bit special.

“I’m still going but I just got up extra early to see you…we don’t really talk much anymore.” She said, scratching her cheek. It was a shared habit of the Naegi siblings whenever they referenced something awkward.

And this would probably be one.

Makoto hugged his sister…who he noticed was now taller than him. They spent the hour they had catching up. Mostly on Komaru’s development since…nothing much had changed on his end. The girl talked about her new best friend, The Ultimate Writing Prodigy. Komaru had met the ultimate some time ago on her way over here and hit it off. Makoto felt Komaru was mature enough to pick her own friends, even if they were fairly removed in terms of age and status.

Well it was thanks to their friendship that he found ways to pass the time. Komaru would always bring him books and novels she got from Fukawa and, to be quite honest, they helped.

“Looks like time’s up for me. I should get going.” Komaru said. She had school to attend after all and the last thing he wants is to be a burden.

He saw his sister outside the doors on the first floor and waved goodbye in response to her own. Even after her figure had disappeared, his gaze remained – there was  an unpleasant sensation he experienced. This wasn’t the first time he had felt this way but he’d rather forget it if possible.

He returned to his room and found Komaeda up and about, he expected Mikan to be around as well.

“Tsumiki has her exams today; she shouldn’t bother with lowlifes like us on the day of such an auspicious event.” He said.

Mikan wasn’t coming huh?  That was rare since the girl was always so obstinate when it came to her duties.  Komaeda was probably right though. The two were in the same class even if he had to be here on sick days.  He wondered how his roommate felt about that but decided it would be far too insensitive for him to ask. Everyone has problems they didn’t want to disclose or be disclosed to anyone else.

Makoto Naegi just didn’t want to impose on anyone.

 _But_ this was a chance to go outside early! Maybe he could sneak off somehow…

“Hey, Komaeda…mind if I go on that errand for you?” He asked.

“Hmm? I don’t know about that, you’re very unreliable.”

He wished Komaeda didn’t put it that way, he _could_ do stuff by himself…people just never gave him a chance, is all.

“Fine, since I’ll have some peace and quiet either way. I’ll write down the directions and a list of items, my handwriting is awful though so be warned.” Makoto didn’t understand why Komaeda put himself down like that, his writing was decent.

He supposed it didn’t matter, he could go outside now!

“Really… acting like a dog I just threw a million-yen steak at.” Komaeda sighed, dispassionately “Be sure to get back in time. Tsumiki will be here before 5.”

“Huh? What makes you think I’ll be gone that long?” Makoto responded.

Komaeda scoffed.

 ...Argh. He was being picked on again, wasn’t he.

Makoto grumbled, wore several layers of clothing underneath his hoodie and went outside. He’d prove to Komaeda that he could be trusted for something as simple as this.

\---

He was lost.

How did he get lost!?

Oh that’s right, he was frolicking around town for a bit, only for the wind to suddenly pick up and carry the paper with his directions away. He ran after it and then ended up God knows where.  How could he be so unlucky?

But it wasn’t _totally_ his fault, the store Komaeda sent him to was completely out of the way. Why would he even walk this far just to buy a few snacks?

He didn’t have a watch or a phone so he couldn’t tell time and he was stuck in a remote area.  He had taken note of distinct signs in the trees on the way over to make sure he wouldn’t get lost further; he even marked some just to be sure.

Naegi grew tired as he made his way through a beaten path. The road led to was what Makoto believed to be a garden…but it was quite impressive, if old. He crossed the bridge and arrived at a long decorated bench.

He sighed as he sat down. He would never hear the end of this. Makoto could only hope he’d get back before sun down or else…

There was still time, it wouldn’t take that long to retrace his steps and he could just pick up Komaeda’s stuff from a convenience store close-by…but first he needed to rest.

Makoto took in the scenery around him in wonder; it really was beautiful. It’d make a great hideout given how hard it was to get to but one he was unlikely to use.  Makoto was then drawn to the large tree overshadowing the garden.

Those agricultural books he read were good for something after all. If he was right, this would bloom into cherry-blossoms sometime during fall’s end. That was certain to be a….. … .

\---

The sun had nearly gone down when he opened his eyes.

He was freezing…but that’s what happens when you fall asleep in the middle of nowhere. Where was he anyway?  He went on an errand and…got lost? Yeah that probably happened.

He looked around the place and noticed a shift in movement not far from him. His eyes settled on a girl with pale skin and lavender hair, staring at him with eyes as cold as the temperature. Her appearance melded a bit too well with the environment, to the extent where he believed (for a second) that she was a ghost.

Naturally, _anyone’s_ reaction would be to scream at the top of their lungs and so he did. She sort of looked annoyed at that, which was pretty fair.

After realizing how ridiculous he was being, he quieted down. It made far more sense that she appeared while he slept. In that case, she could have just woke him up.

How mean.

“Ah sorry, you scared me.” _Real smooth, Makoto._

The girl nodded and went back to her reading.

More importantly on his end…it was dark.

That was bad. Because he’s here and not _there,_ why was he here again?

 Oh right, errands. His mind always goes on the fritz when he lapses.

It may not be so bad, he just had to find out the time and adjust his pace accordingly.

“Do you know what time it is?” He asked

“4:30” Quick and to the point…did she say 4:30?

He tried to remember what time he was supposed to have returned.

_Be sure to get back in time. Tsumiki will be here before 5_

“I’m late! They’re going to kill me if they find out!” He yelled again. Only this time, he had every reason to; hell awaited him if he didn’t move.

He apologized to the irritated girl and quite literally, ran off.

\---

He got back half an hour late.

Back to Hope’s Peak Academy’s…Medical Ward – his ‘home’. It was a ways off the actual campus but within the institution’s jurisdiction.

What’s an average person like him doing here?  It all started a year ago on the worst day of his life, when a burglar hi-jacked a bus he rode. An old man had made him play hero and the conclusion of a string of unlucky incidences was Makoto ending up in a motorcycle accident with the criminal. At the time, he thought he had scraped a close call with death and was then rewarded for his efforts with a notice of acceptance into Hope’s Peak via a lottery draw. Makoto believed everything turned out alright…until  the after effects of the accident reared its head a week later. According to the medical staff, Makoto had fainted during class and woke up in the hospital 2 hours later. The diagnosis was narcolepsy caused by recoil from the accident and as a result, his brain had lost the ability to properly regulate sleep. In addition, his body’s energy regulation was also compromised and intensive activities would drain him far too quickly compared to an average person.

 They had no method of treatment so he went home. A week later, his Hope’s Peak acceptance letter was rescinded. The board had reasoned his unfortunate circumstances to be un-befitting the one chosen as the Ultimate Lucky Student; It made sense but it didn’t hurt any less.  As compensation however, they allowed him to use their state-of-the-art medical facilities to increase his chances of recovery. The cause of his injury had been out of an act of heroism to begin with; therefore HPA consented to that much.

Oh well, he may not have talent but he still had his optimism.

 “Makoto, you’re back!”  Mikan greeted him out in the hallway next to his room door. She wore a hybrid uniform that consisted of a mix between HPA’s attire and the hospital staff wear. Mikan was the only one in the entire ward that was decorated that way, as it symbolized her her status as the Ultimate Nurse.

Komaeda aside, his personal caretaker was Mikan Tsumiki.  He was surprised someone so young could be an accomplished nurse but that’s talent for you. Now it wasn’t that Mikan was a _bad person_.  In reality, she was caring and excelled in her field. Unfortunately, Makoto had noticed her more…eccentric quirks over the course of being under her care; Mikan seemed to think she had power over her patients and could turn into a different person entirely when that authority is challenged.

But for better or worse, Mikan didn’t look mad and she was calling him by his first name too.

“Hi, Mikan.” He greeted

“Y-You weren’t here when I returned and Komaeda told me he sent you off a little while ago. I was worried since I d-didn’t have time to give you your medication.”

His medication; Makoto wasn’t allowed to take it without being under Mikan’s direct supervision. The drug was made to stimulate the brain and increase his wake period but over time, their effectiveness had decreased. Now he could only stay awake for around 7 hours a day before he burned out.

That aside, it looked like Komaeda had covered for him.Depressing since Naegi’s the one who bragged, failed spectacularly to prove it and now had _him_ take the fall. Makoto thought he was never going to live this down.

“I-I’m sorry. Even if I had exams, I should have come earlier to help. Please, forgive me!” The nurse begged as she misunderstood his situation.  Makoto assured the girl she wasn’t at fault and he just felt like taking a short walk.

“Oh, Okay. But next time, you really shouldn’t go off on your own. Even if you might feel fine, you could c-collapse at any time without your medicine.”

“No it was my fault. I should have just called with a pay-phone.” He said, leaving out the fact that her warnings had already come to pass this very day.  There wasn’t really any need for him to take his medicine since the day was already over and he’d already slept quite a bit. The nurse escorted Makoto to his room and bid him goodbye.

Makoto entered the room and saw Komaeda despondently staring at the ceiling, barely acknowledging his return.

Makoto mumbled an apology

 “Did you say something? I didn’t quite catch that.” Komaeda replied.

“I’m sorry!” Makoto whined in a louder voice

“What are you apologizing for again?” He said. Is this dementia talking or does he really just want to rub it in?

Either way, Makoto brought it on himself so that was the least he could do.

“You were right; I’m _totally_ unreliable and can’t do a thing by myself.” Makoto droned sarcastically.

“No matter, I expected as much so there’s no problem. That kind of unluckiness is good for me once in a while since it offsets the bad that’ll come later.”  

He didn’t seem to mind…wait…if Komaeda was fine with having bad luck, did that mean he experienced any good luck recently?

\---

“Helloooooooo”

Junko Enoshima crashed into the room.

“Nice to see you again, Junko.” He said. She was one of his more recent visitors and Mikan’s girlfriend, or that’s the impression he got at least. Junko was noisy but also a fun person to have around.

Mikan was in class right now though…and so should she now that he thought about it.

“And miss spending time with my favorite shut-in? Not a chance.” She said, assuming a flamboyant pose.

“Eh? You really mean that?” He asked, hopefully.

“Nah, I’d pick any excuse to get away from Cap’n yells-a-lot Ishimaru getting on my case all the time. You’d think he’d learn by now that I’ll wear whatever the fuck I want!”

Of course.

“But forget about me for sec. You look…I dunno, slightly peppier today. Did something good happen?” She asked.

He wouldn’t know though. He felt the same as always.

“Makoto was let off the leash yesterday…assuming my memory isn’t failing me. He probably found something interesting, given he disappeared for several hours and didn’t even bring back what was asked of him originally.” Komaeda, who had been quiet until now, chimed in at an inopportune time. Was he holding a grudge?

“That _is_ suspicious. Well, you gonna explain what you’ve been doing breaking curfew, young man?”

All eyes were on him now.  Makoto explained the  situation and from the onset, he could tell Junko was struggling (and failing) to hold back laughter. So he’d gotten lost, that sort of thing happens to everyone. That said, he’d made sure to leave out some minor and unnecessary details like his screaming.

“Unbelievable, so that’s what happened. How incompetent are you?” Komaeda jibed “Do you even realize how dangerous it was for you to sleep in the middle of nowhere?”

Komaeda _almost_ seemed angry. Which rarely happened, usually he was just very annoyed.

“Hey now, it’s not completely his fault. He wanted a chance to go outside. If the staff didn’t coop him up in here 24/7, maybe he wouldn’t have done something so risky.” Junko  defended him.

It felt kinda good having someone on his side for once-

“You shouldn’t coddle him too much, Enoshima. He’s the type to get cocky.”

“True. You goofed, Makoto.”

He deflated. Could she at least be consistent?

“Anyway, I get the feeling you left out a few deets in your explanation.”

His ahoge stood up “No I didn’t.” He said but failed to look either of them in the eyes.

“You _did_ hide stuff _._ What else happened?” She gasped

W-Why don’t they believe me?

“Enoshima really didn’t know but you’re a terrible liar so she tricked you into answering a yes or no question.” Komaeda, seeing the puzzled look on his face, explained.

They ganged up on him and he was forced to reveal everything. Komaeda didn’t seem to be paying much attention but that was natural; the albino didn’t care for minor details or things that didn’t concern him. Surprisingly, Junko didn’t laugh at his overreaction to the lilac-haired girl either.  The fashionista asked him to describe the girl in more detail and so he did, from what little he could remember.

Now that he thought about it, she was wearing a HPA uniform. Makoto hadn’t realized at the time due to the plain school-wear but looking at Junko’s variety, he easily the saw the connection. Maybe the two knew each other?

He didn’t ask about a relationship though and he wasn’t all that interested in finding out either. 

“Hey Makoto, you have lots of free-time right?” Junko already knew the answer to that question so he wasn’t sure why she even needed to ask

“Course you do, I’ll have something special planned next week and you’ll be there.” The unreasonable woman said without reservation.

 Even Komaeda gazed at her oddly. “Far be it from us to understand the inner workings of talent but it appears you have found a new toy?” He muttered.

“Upupupu.”

\---

So here he was back at the garden again. He didn’t _mind_ being here but it was a tad annoying the person he was waiting for, wasn’t.

Junko had told him to meet her here today…and somehow happened to be an hour late. She made a big deal about the outing to Mikan and got the nurse to consent so he couldn’t think this was just a sick prank.

He heard foodsteps approaching.

Ah, it was the ghost-girl. For a coincidence like this to occur, he guessed she came here often.

He waved

With a slight gesture of acknowledgement as she came closer

Was he a bother? If so, she hadn’t said anything…

Speaking of which “My bad about the screaming before. I…thought you were a ghost.” Wow, that was a lot harder to admit than he thought

“It’s fine. I thought nothing of it.”

 Really? He was glad she wasn’t irritated then.

For a split second, Makoto swore he saw her mouth twitch upwards at his explanation. It vanished as fast as it came but he definitely saw it.

The girl (who he now confirmed wore a HPA uniform) sat opposite of him. He snuck a quick peek at what she read…detective novels. That’s pretty rare.

…Where the heck was Junko? Fashionably late doesn’t even cut it at this point…and why had she even said they meet here instead of going together from the hospital?

He sighed. He should probably leave…but first he was hungry.  He opened the lunch he had prepared for himself.

Sometime later Makoto felt a pair of eyes on him and caught the girl checking him out. Well, it was more like she was analyzing him…considering she hadn’t noticed _he_ had noticed her.

“Something wrong?” He questioned

If the girl had broken out of a stupor, she didn’t show it. Makoto was impressed at how she easily brushed off what could have potentially been a very awkward situation. That’d be a handy skill for him to have.

“How did you get here?” She asked out of the blue

Huh?

“How did you find your way into the garden? Most people wouldn’t be able to arrive at this location.” She elaborate in a cold tone but there was an undeniable intrigue hidden beneath.

Oh. Strange question but there wasn’t a really good explanation; he had just gotten lost and carefully covered his tracks. He didn’t have much of hope of using this to start a conversation

And that’s sort of what happened; she didn’t e.v..e..n….

\---

Makoto felt a hand on his shoulder nudge him awake.

Oh, she woke him up this time, that’s nice.                                                        

But why did he fall asleep? His medicine should have kept him awake he for quite a big longer.

“It’s 4pm, shouldn’t you be leaving?” She said.

Huh? It wasn’t like he had a curfew this time…but it was probably best not to tell her.

“Thanks, I appreciate it.”

He left, ruminating how a certain twin-tailed girl hadn’t bothered to show up on the way.

Can’t be helped, Junko was incomprehensible. Rather than wallow in pointless frustration, he thought about anything that would take his mind off that particular upset.

For example! That girl back there would probably look a lot cuter if she smiled more – her smile may have come as fast as it went but he was sure of it.  Wonder what she was doing out here anyway…he didn’t think it was safe for a student to be coming out into the middle of nowhere like this either.

No wait, he was doing it again. He has no idea who she is or what she’s doing there so it’s not his place to meddle.

~~Meddling was what ruined his life~~

Maybe they could have a more friendly conversation next time…huh, wonder why thought they were going to meet again. Not that he would mind that; she _does_ have a cool aura. Nothing wrong with being acquaintances though, judging by the impression he was getting from, that would be pretty difficult.

A shiver passed through his body…and it wasn’t the cold.

For the past while now, Makoto had felt something was following him. He didn’t hear any footsteps, meaning if that was true, they’d have to be as silent as a ninja. Instead, it was just that anxiety people get when they feel like they’re being watched and his was kicking into overdrive.

 He turned around sharply and saw…nothing.

 There he goes overreacting like a kid afraid of the dark, sheesh.

\---

“How was your date with Enoshima?” He asked

Makoto didn’t think he ever said it was a date, more like an outing. And she never showed anyway.

“Oh? That doesn’t seem right.”

“R-Really?” Makoto started “YOU don’t think ‘It’s only natural for someone brimming with such immense talent to not bother with normies like Makoto Naegi’ or something like that?”  He mimicked the older teen.

Komaeda stared at him in response. It was a look Makoto couldn’t quite discern but they remained like that for some time; he was getting the same feeling as with that girl analyzing him a few hours ago.

The awkward silence was unbearable. He was only joking…

“Nevermind. So if Enoshima didn’t show…did anything else happen?”

Makoto mentioned he ran into the girl from the previous day. They talked a little (he stressed ‘a little’) but nothing worth noting.

“I see. That’s quite a coincidence.” He remarked, looking deep in thought but Makoto couldn’t help but notice he didn’t seem surprised to learn that.

 “Nothing you have to worry about. Those with our luck have these things happen all the time.”  From an outside perspective, it might seem like Komaeda was trying to console him but in reality, the lucky student’s words meant “Luck is all-powerful, it’s useless trying to struggle or think about why things happen.”

Now that Makoto thought about it, that old man told him the same thing. His luck was always the reason and he’d never won against it once.

 “Do you want to see that girl again, Makoto?” He broke his train of thought with an odd question.

Makoto looked up to see the boy holding a deliberately unpleasant smirk.

That was rare. Komaeda didn’t like to show any sort of interest in him. But if Makoto had to pick, he’d say yes. “Maybe…but wouldn’t meeting in the same place for the third time at random intervals would be kinda creepy?” He replied.  And besides…the hospital couldn’t just let him do as he pleased.

“If you want to meet her again then go ahead, you won’t get anywhere just lying around here all day. You’re narcoleptic, not crippled.” Komaeda berated him.

Komaeda didn’t give a solution, he might as well have told Makoto to “tough it out and grow a pair”. Supposing he did, Makoto would have nothing to talk with her about; he didn’t think either of them had anything in common.

“You’re making excuses. Was there anything remarkable about her behavior? If you’ve seen here twice in a recreational spot then you should have noticed something like a hobby.”

Well, he noticed she read Sherlock Holmes novels but he had never indulged anything like that. How would he discuss anything?

“…It seems _That_ might prove useful for once; she’s undeservedly friends with the ultimate writing prodigy, is she not? Surely, you can find something as common as a detective novel.” Whenever Komaeda used the word “that” in a particular tone, he always referred to Komaru. He often laughed at how Komaeda couldn’t even pretend to hide his animosity…though wouldn’t a normal older brother defend his kid sister in times like this?

But he couldn’t say he was averse to Komaeda’s idea. It was worth a shot.

…He was getting tired.

 “Well, there’s no guarantee you’ll ever see her again, anyway. If you did then that’s also your luck at work...in which case, it’s just destiny. ” Komaeda proposed

He was somewhat skeptical but Komaeda was usually right about these things.

“If you doubt me, we’ll draw straws and pick which day you’ll go next week. If she shows up then I win. Fair?”

Makoto yawned “Sure but can we do it tomorrow?”

Perhaps had Makoto been in a proper state of mind, he may have recalled that his luck never brought him anything except hardship and may have understood exactly Komaeda had been instigating.

\---

He sat happily on the bench, humming and admiring the giant tree overshadowing the garden. If he was right, the tree would blossom in a few months time, he couldn’t wait!

Sadly, that wasn’t his reason for being here today though.

Makoto made the request to Komaru. The little sister seemed suspicious at first and gave him that look; the one that searched for an opening to intrude on her older brother’s private life. It wasn’t like he was doing anything criminal anyway.

He had gone through with the raffle on Komaeda’s provocation and ended up on Friday.  That gave him time to skim through the books – regardless of their intended use, he enjoyed them. Most of the mysteries he managed to solve before the reveal, based on the evidence presented.

Maybe he had a knack for detective work.

Even if she doesn’t show up, he at least found something fun along the way… leave it to him to mix up the ends and means and get carried away

On a side-note, Makoto couldn’t help but notice the trek on the way over was slightly more exhausting than usual. He had no idea if the girl would come at all so he could be here the whole day if it came down to it.  As a result, he had been sure to take an extra dosage today on Mikan’s advice.

“What the-” A voice came out of the clearing.

There she was. On a random date and time yet they still somehow met again. It served as a reminder of just how notorious his luck was.

“Hi again, you’re here at a weird time.” He casually addressed her

“The same could be said of you.” She retorted, unable to maintain her stoicism.

He gently laughed at her reaction as he presumed the girl didn’t handle surprises all that well. There wasn’t any reason for Makoto to act suspiciously or anxiously because like Komaeda said, coincidences happen. Sure, he couldn’t deny his vague interest but he had no idea what this girl’s daily life was like nor could he control her actions. He had shown up and that was it.

Her shock deepened further when she caught sight of the novel he was reading.

“W-Where did you get that?” She asked.

Makoto was nearly taken aback by the intense display. At most, he’d expected to use the novels as an ice-breaker but from the looks of it, he might get farther than that…why was he sounding like some kind of sleazy player?

He answered in half-truths because, well, they weren’t _totally_ lies. Makoto _had_ recently acquired the novel he was reading and he _was_ a fan of detective stories.

“If that’s the case, was there a reason why you didn’t say anything when you saw me reading that series?” She was reasonably suspicious but it was also unfounded in a way.

“Um, I don’t know how to say this but I got the feeling you didn’t want to talk to me.” The way she glared at him made Makoto instantly regret his decision.

He shrunk back and asked if he had said something wrong.

“No…you were right.” She said. It wasn’t stoic like before but like a child who was forced to admit they were in the wrong. He felt a little guilty.

“Room for one more?” She struggled to let out.

Eh? He didn’t want to misunderstand but “You want to read with me?”

“Yes, if you don’t mind.” She muttered lowly.

It took him a second to process the situation before throwing a fit of laughter.

The laughter stopped and he invited the girl to sit beside him.  They read for some time, it was a lot of fun…but he couldn’t get his mind off something.

Did people with talent all behave in interesting ways? Compared to normal people – No even less than that when comparing them to _himself_ …

\---

He dozed off during their reading, which was a bit concerning – A drooping-eyed Makoto thought while taking the stairs to his room, novel in hand.   His medicine should have prevented that but it would appear it wasn’t working, even with the extra dose. He could have stayed at the garden a little while longer but this was probably something he should tell Mikan immediately. On the bright side, she agreed to meeting up tomorrow, that was something.

He opened his room door to see Mikan attending to Komaeda. There must have been something off with his appearance because they were looking at him strangely. Mikan even yelped

“You look like awful.” Komaeda said bluntly.

“M-Makoto, stay right there!” Mikan entered nurse mode and ran towards him, placing a hand and analyzing his eyelids. Normally, he’d blush from a girl (or anyone really) being in such close proximity but he was too tired for anything right now. Hopefully this wouldn’t take long.

“Y-You should go to sleep right now. I’ll have t-to take care of you all day tomorrow, so don’t even think about going anywhere!” She was flustered. Seems like he wasn’t getting out of this and it wasn’t like he had the strength to argue…oh well, he’d have to apologize to that girl the next time he saw her.

\---

_Several months later_

“I’m pretty sure the maid did it.”

“Hmm? The father’s clearly the suspicious one; think about it a little more.”

“Wha? What makes you her dad killed her?” He argued

“What makes _you_ think the maid is responsible?” She argued back

“She has the motive and we’ve already read her PoV, she hates and _wanted_ to kill them.”

“Expressing hostility and acting on it isn’t the same thing. Besides, we’ve only seen a partial PoV which isn’t very reliable.”

“Okaaay, but what makes the father a suspect? He lost the most _and_ he’s the one who called the police. Did I mention he’s her DAD?”

“You’re letting sentimentality cloud reason. The father had been charged with criminal offenses in the past. With his private finances dwindled and his daughter owning the company, he’d have every reason to kill her to regain control of it. It’s seems likely the maid is just a red herring.”

“You’re reaching, the story barely touched on that subplot. You can’t just overlook emotions when it comes to mysteries when that’s what drives the culprit’s motives. ”

“I’d like to think of my conclusion as an inference and you don’t _need_ to have everything spelled out for you to put the pieces together. Why would you even read a mystery otherwise?”

They glared at each other for a few moments before bursting into laughter…well he did, she just chuckled lightly.

“Fine, we’ll call a truce and see who wins at the end.” She smirked

“Someone sounds confident~” Maybe we can raise the stakes on this… “How about a bet then?” He suggested

 “I’m not sure I should take such a one-sided wager.” She muttered

“Scared?” He teased

“I’m not taking this bait.” She scoffed. He only needed a little more to corner her.

“That’s cool but you know refusing is the same as admitting I’m right about the culprit. I guess just _conceding_ is good enough for me and you get to avoid the punishment; too bad, I was going to make the loser tell some embarrassing details about themselves and who knows, maybe throw in a King’s game on top.” That should do it.

“Really? That _is_ too bad.  From my perspective, I thought I was doing you a favor because between the two of us, I think I’d have an unfair advantage when it comes to solving mysteries and detective work. Specialties and all that.”

Well that was…an interesting piece of info.

“But it can’t be helped if you want to lose _that_ badly.  Since you offered the bet, I should be allowed to revise the terms then?” Now she _sounded_ hesitant so why was he the one feeling like a cornered rat?

He was starting to think there was a lapse in judgment somewhere.

Makoto laughed nervously.

“Hm? Are you alright over there?” She gave him a smile that said it was too late to back out now.

He sighed, played like a violin.

“Just go easy on me.”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.”

“Eh? Don’t you mean ‘IF we come to it’? Why are you acting like you’ve already won?”

“When I set my mind on something, I’ll do everything in my power to get it…” She trailed off.

“Something wrong?”

“…No. It’s not even worth mentioning.” She said after a time. Her mood was still sour though.

But he wasn’t going to press the issue. That was their unspoken agreement.

“Hey, can I ask a personal question?”

“I don’t see why not.”

“I’m trying to find a present for someone, it’s kind of an anniversary gift for a…not a _friend_ but someone close. I thought you’d have an idea on what I should get them.”

“…I see. And what makes you think I’d be a good choice of assistance?” She said. Makoto detected a slight shift in her tone.

“Why _wouldn’t_ you be? You’re the smartest person I know.”

“In other words, my skills are solely meant to be praised and used at your convenience, is that it?” She bit back.

D-Did I say something wrong?

“Are you…mad?” The girl stiffened at the question and turned her head away from him

“What gave you that impression?”  She said in a softer tone.

“Ah, I just thought you sounded a little cold for a second there. Must’ve been my imagination.”

“Looks that way. I’ll need to know what this girlfriend of yours is like.”

“…Who the heck are you talking about?”  

She turned back to face Makoto and saw his head tilted in confusion.

“…Could you go into more detail about your relationship with this person?”  She said, straight-laced.

“He’s my roommate. I don’t think we’re quite friends but we’re definitely more than acquaintances…probably.” He sounded unsure but she looked…embarrassed or was that relief?

She cleared her throat. A light blush showing on her cheeks.

“If your relationship isn’t as strong as you’re suggesting, then I advise not getting anything too flashy, expensive or personal; whatever you choose needs to be impressive enough to convey genuine appreciation but not enough to be intimidating and obscure established social boundaries.” She advised

“You’re right, that’s exactly what I should look for. Thanks, I knew I could count on you.” Makoto looked upon the girl with admiration  
“You overestimate me. This is just common knowledge others would be able to describe far better than I.” She admitted, flustered.

“If you say so.” Makoto replied, looking unconvinced. There was something bugging him though. “Hey…did you _think_ I had a girlfriend?”

“I believe I already helped you with your problem so I’m not obligated to carry on that conversation.” She glared at him

 “I got it. No more questions.” He raised his hands up in fear.

Her scowl returned to normal. Makoto breathed out a sigh of relief

“…Was there a reason you didn’t show up for a while?” She asked

 “…”

“You don’t have to explain if you don’t want to. I was just curious.” She said.

“…Thank you.” He replied

“No problem…but I believe I’m at least owed an answer to one question today.”

“Sure, I’ll answer whatever you want.” He wished he could take back those words the instant a sly grin crossed the girl’s features.

“How generous… If you don’t have a girlfriend, is there anyone you’re interested in to fill that position?”

It was now his turn to blush. It was an expression one would think could only be seen in fiction.

“I-I thought you were done with that topic!”

“I said I wasn’t _obligated_ to continue it, not that I couldn’t initiate it myself.” Was she a lawyer?

She gave him that analyzing look. He was an awful liar, the second he lied, she’d see through it for sure.

“There is, okay!” He admitted.

“That so…and their names are?” She pressed

Dammit. There was no way he could say that…hey!

“You said I only needed to answer _one_ question.” He argued

“Tsk, so close.” She conceded

He needed to watch his words with this girl.

“Next time then.”  Seems she wasn’t giving up.

“Doubt it. I won’t fall for your tricks anymore.” He pouted.

She shrugged.

Makoto felt a dizzying spell coming on and yawned.

“Tired?”

“Yeaaah.” He motioned to lie down on the bench.

“You know that’s terrible for your neck.”

“…Sure…but…no…pillow.” He replied with his words spaced out.

“Then I’ll lend a hand this time too.” She said. Makoto was too tired to get her meaning

“Huh?” The next Naegi knew, he felt a pair of gloves gently pick his head up slightly and sit it on her lap.

Neither said anything afterwards.

“The name of the person he liked. Telling her was out of the question” He thought as his eyes closed.

The boy drifted into a deep sleep.

How could he when he didn’t even know it yet?

\---

 

A reason huh? He thought on his way. There was that disturbing feeling of being followed again but he felt it often enough now to know it was probably just a reaction to something. Nothing ever happened when he experienced that anxiety anyway.

Months back, Mikan had reported his condition to the doctors and even his family had been requested to visit. It had been quite some time since he’d seen his parents. They were always hard at work as long as he could remember so making time for him was difficult. Not that Makoto minded much, they had their own lives to live after all.

The doctors had explained that his medication was beginning to fail, as expected. They were warned since the beginning that it was a temporary solution and would lose effectiveness with time however, the rate of decrease had propagated and the medicine’s usefulness would expire prematurely. 

In which case, Makoto would fall into a permanent coma before the end of the year.

It was a tough pill to swallow but those are the breaks…he’d seen it coming so there was no reason to cry over it like his mother was at the moment.

He still had his optimism. He just had to live with that reality and adjust.

They had proposed a brain surgery operation as a contingency long ago. Unfortunately, it was considered a last resort as the percentage of success was below 5%. The consequences entailed brain damage and potentially death.

He nearly laughed at the implications. He was glad Komaru had been absent at that time; he didn’t think he could have dealt with that.

Whether he would undergo the operation depended on his consent. There wasn’t a set timeframe but clearly, this was an instance of “the sooner, the better.”

He would need time to make that decision and they gave it to him. All he had left to do was see his parents off. It was a tearful goodbye but he tried his best to make them worry as little as possible.

Makoto spared Komaeda a weak glance when he returned to his room and threw himself on the bed. What he wanted to do now was sleep, he was sure to become accustomed to that in the near future.

_“You used to shine much more brightly.”  Komaeda had said before he fell asleep._

There wasn’t any use understanding what he meant, as usual.

Along the way, he came across a MonoMono machine; a bear-themed gift dispenser that had become the new fad.  The hoodie didn’t have much on him so this would be the best he could do. Her advice had also served to alleviate most of his worries on the financial front.

He inserted a few coins and surfed through a list of items

“Mineral water? No…Passionate Glasses? Scratch that…Bright-Colored Jeans? He doubted Komaeda had a use for them, he seemed to prefer more dreary outfits that didn’t make him standout… Hope’s Peak Academy Ring? That sounds about right.” He selected the item and a ring ornated with the HPA crest fell out.

He still had some money left, was this really enough?

She did say nothing too grand or awkward if our relationship wasn’t that close…then again, Komaeda was…kind of special. Makoto hadn’t kept in touch with any of his former high school friends so Komaeda was probably one of the closest things he had to a best friend.

That was a bit said in its own way. He grimaced.

He rummaged through the list again looking for more.

“Despair’s Bat? If I wanted him to piss him off, maybe…Queen’s Straight Jacket? Nuh-uh, Mikan might go for it though, I should get something for her too… …Memory notebook? Yeah, that sounds great for Komaeda, anything else… Kokkeshi…Dynamo? Is this a kid’s toy?”

He wasn’t really sure so he spent everything he had on a few of them to increase his chances at success.

He just hoped they’d like them and well…it beats giving them his underwear…not like something that crazy would ever happen.

\---

Some things stayed the same, a lot more changed.

The days grew shorter.

Komaru didn’t come by as frequently as she used to.

Komaeda had begun acting strangely. For one, the lucky student started going back to class. Makoto wondered if that was a wise-decision given Komaeda’s illness was arguably worse than his own but then again, he didn’t have the right to judge.

In his case, the illness worsened.  Waking each day felt like a chore and moving around quickly exhausted him.

2 days was his limit and he used it to spend time with Her.  Mikan protested against both of the ahoge boys’ actions but Makoto couldn’t yield to her advice. Naturally, Mikan as his caretaker could force him into confinement if she saw fit but for some reason she never went that far. Whenever Mikan seemed like she would, the nurse would pull herself back and concede. By this point, Makoto already had an idea of who was responsible for that.

He felt guilty for backing the nurse into a corner when she only cared about his well-being but he’d feel even worse if he was confined to the hospital. These were his last day so he might as well have fun with them.

Over the months, the two in the garden had become fast friends and also came to an understanding. To maintain the veil on their relationship, there was an unspoken rule to never force an issue on each other’s private life. Well…that was probably half of the reason. The other half was more of an implied contest to see which of them would break first and spill their guts. She was seriously stubborn.

Take for example,  It seemed like she knew _almost_ everything - Whenever their conversations went in a direction she _didn’t_ know, she’d always go in a roundabout way of asking him to explain. It was kind of cute honestly, like dealing with a little kid.

He figured she was a type of detective or investigator. Consequently, he also knew there was no way she wouldn’t have noticed his decline in health and sleeping habits. In spite of that, she said nothing.

Conversely, he never addressed what he believed to be her issues either.  She had a lot of difficulty expressing herself and would side-step any kind of intimate matter.  Whenever Makoto brought up his social relationships in conversation, she’d pay close attention. She appeared to like the stories he shared about him and his friends in middle school…definitely not because just about all of them had something unfortunate happen to him one way or another. That would be mean.

She seemed to be the most interested whenever he brought up Komaru. He asked once and she told him she’d always wanted a little sister. Like the saying goes, the grass is always greener on the other side or something like that.

However…whenever Makoto talked about his parents the mood tensed. So much that he never did it again; the spiky-haired boy knew a red flag when he saw one.

Still, Makoto recognized that the girl isolated herself from others and he wasn’t sure if that was a good thing. Of course, those were just his thoughts and didn’t matter at all. She was the one who could decide whether or not she was happy; anything else was just useless speculation on his end.

If she really did have a problem that she couldn’t handle by herself then…she would tell him.

\---

Fall was nearing its end, he thought while waiting on the bench.

Before the fall period, Makoto could remain awake for 7 hours of the day using his medicine. Now he could barely manage an average of merely 4 hours.

The operation was a death sentence. Even at the best of times, his bad luck had proven to overwhelmingly turn things against his favor. Now? When his chance of survival was a mere 5%? Any idiot could see what would happen.

He was fine leaving things like this…but it was too bad since he had regrets. There was so much he’d wanted to do and things he’d regretted not doing in the past.

But that still had problems. His treks to the garden were now becoming painfully tiring and his own strength had drastically deteriorated. By the time he reached the bench, he collapsed of exhaustion.

He was fine leaving things like this…but it was too bad since he had regrets. There was so much he’d wanted to do and things he’d regretted not doing in the past.

Like maybe not being such a chicken and actually introducing himself to Maizono when he had the chance.

He shivered as the snow pelted his spiky hair.

He tried thinking of whatever he could to take his mind off the cold, such as Mikan’s part humorous and part disturbing response to the presents he gave the previous day…

_“Mikan, I’ve got something for you!” He ran up to the nurse during her break period._

_“F-For me!?”_

_“It’s not that big of a deal.” He was being serious. If she started bawling over his mediocre spendings, he’d feel like crap._

_He rummaged through a bag and brought out a set of HPA rings, a bandage and a Queen’s Straightjacket._

_“Here.” He handed them to Mikan, much to her evident surprise._

_“T-Thank you so much, I’ll treasure these for the rest of my life!” She squealed_

_“That’s going a bit fa-”_

_“All my life’s work m-must have amounted to this moment”_

_“…”_

_Mikan grew silent for a moment_

_“But I-If you don’t mind my asking, why are you giving this to me?”_

_“I know I’ve been a pain to deal with recently so I thought I’d show a little appreciation for taking care of me for so long. Think of it as a token of friendship.” He showed a toothy grin._

_“F-Friends? You’re fine with that!?” She acted surprised. There was no reason to; Mikan was a great person to have around._

_“Sure, anyone would want to be friends with you.” He replied with the truth._

_“…You really mean that, don’t you?” She said, while staring off into space._

_“Uh yeah, why wouldn’t I?”_

_“Of course you do…you’ve always been like that.” She whispered_

_“Mikan?”_

_“And since we’re friends, that means we should protect each other, no matter what.”  She held her hands together and bent her head down slightly._

_“Hey Mikan, Are you ok?” He tapped her shoulders lightly_

_“Ah! Never mind me, there’s something…I have to do. T-Thank you, again.” She said_

_“No problem.”_

_“Y-You should probably wake up now too.” Mikan said suddenly_

_Huh? I don’t remember that happen-_

\---

He woke up with a jolt and a stinging pain across his cheek

What the hell? He thought as he saw Her withdrawing an ungloved hand.

Why’d she slap him…hm? Her eyes were a light red. Had she been crying?

“Are you an idiot? Why would you sleep out here and for this long!?” She raised her voice.

Makoto finally took in his surroundings and saw it was already night-time. As if his body had caught up with that recognition, he shivered…badly.

He was freezing.

“Go home. I don’t have class tomorrow.” She turned her back to him and ran off.

He didn’t get it but something must have happened – nothing good either. Fantastic…

Makoto picked himself up and tried to go back home. Tried being the key word, not long after he left the garden, Makoto realized he had stumbled across another problem.

He had no energy and was wobbling with every step. In terms of distance, he probably wasn’t even a quarter-way to the hospital and was also still in an isolated area…nobody to ask for help.

The boy’s legs gave out and he settled for falling face-first on the snow.

He wasn’t panicking, strangely enough.  He had long since become accustomed to his bad luck surfacing at the worst of times and there was no reason why it wouldn’t happen now…oh well.

As his consciousness dimmed, he wondered what had set her off. Was it something he needed to worry about?

No…She was better than him. She was just like Komaeda, Mikan and Junko; talented and wise.

She wasn’t like him…so there wasn’t a need to bother, right

The last thing he heard was the faint sound of footsteps

\---

He awoke to the familiar scene of his hospital room.

How had he had gotten back?

“Wow, even awake you look like a corpse~” It was Junko, playing with her nails on Komaeda’s bed. Speaking of which, the man is question was suspiciously absent.

“You’re here pretty late. I’m surprised they let you in the front door.” He addressed the model.  
“I have my ways and I’m bored out of my mind so I thought why not hang out here?”

A hospital was fun for her? Different strokes he presumed.

“Well, I also played a prank on Muku by telling her to pick up some eggs in the middle of nowhere and wouldn’t you know it, she told me they got splattered on the road. Big sis can’t do anything right.” She puffed her cheeks.

Wouldn’t that be Junko’s fault for making such an unreasonable demand?

“And get this!” She started dramatically “Muku _still_ brought it home with her and asked ME what she should do with em, crazy right? I told her to put it back where it belonged.”

 Uh, was she going somewhere with this?

“The trash?”

“Exactly! I like eggs but they’re totally useless if they break early.  You agree right? Something that’s broken and useless should just be left to rot away someplace where it can’t become an eyesore.” She smiled

An awkward silence passed between them and then it clicked.

Makoto gave off a crooked smiled and hesitantly agreed.

“Glad you think so too but hey, did you HEAR about the news on the principal!? Apparently he’s getting remarried soon.” She faux gasped.

Principal Jin Kirigiri? Makoto would be surprised if anyone who had heard of Hope’s Peak didn’t know the name of the headmaster but why would Junko think he cared about something like that?

“And even worse, there’s this nasty rumor about Kirigiri that’s running around campus saying she didn’t take the news too well. What cute, adorable, marvelous, perfect specimen of a human being could be responsible, I wonder?” She spoke facetiously but, again, he didn’t really car-

Wait… _she_? There’s a female Kirigiri? He assumed Junko referred to a student on campus.

That girl’s grief stricken face came to the forefront of his mind.

Could that have been the reason? It had to be, why else would Junko be telling him this.

_After all…Makoto had already realized a long time ago that Junko set them up._

Junko was the only reason Makoto had bothered to return to the garden and moreover, she was the reason he was allowed to keep going back. Mikan takes her duties as a nurse very seriously; even doctors alone wouldn’t be able to deter the girl from her sense of duty. Junko was a different story, even Makoto could see the fashionista had some weird control over people that made them do things they don’t want to.

However even if he realized it, Makoto didn’t care. Junko’s intentions aside, he was thankful for the opportunity to meet Kirigiri.

That said, he _still_ didn’t care.

“I don’t really get what you’re asking but Kirigiri’s not like that. There’s nothing she can’t do if she puts her mind to it and even if she couldn’t, I’m sure there are others more capable of helping than me.”  What could he accomplish?

 “Ooooh, so that’s it. Upupu, birds of a feather. You run all the same, just in different directions.”

Makoto waited for her to elaborate

“What _others_ are you talking about, dumbass? Kirigiri doesn’t _have_ any other friends in school and not for a lack of trying on our end. Little Miss Princess just avoids the rest of us like a plague and it makes the class a real downer. Blergh!”

He had suspected as much but that didn’t mean he had been correct, nor did he want to believe it.

“That’s when I thought that you could be of some help. With a little assistance, I could break Kirigiri’s ice and _you_ could finally be more than a broken toy wasting your life away in this dump. That’s what you wanted right? To be useful. To be _normal again_ , just like everyone else.”

He couldn’t deny that.

“While we’re on that train of thought, let’s talk about _you_.  Soooo, ya gonna do that operation or what?”

Makoto raised an eyebrow “Isn’t stuff like that confidential, how did you even know that?”  
“Oh.My.God. Makoto, stop asking dumb fucking questions. I just SAID I have my ways. Also don’t answer questions with another question, that’s fucking annoying too.”

“I don’t know. Probably not.” He pouted

“ _Why_? You’re seriously going to croak at this rate…well maybe not die but its going to be one long-ass sleep for you.”

“There’s no point. I’d lose either way.” It was funny. This was a conversation Makoto wouldn’t want with anyone…but with Junko, it was fine. She could take in anything and make it seem superficial.

“Ah gotcha. I can respect that…but I thought you were optimistic type. Was I wrong?” She raised a finger to her chin

“I…am optimistic.”

“Not right now. All I see is someone who’s gotten fucked over by life and is ready to thrown in the towel.”

Then there were the times where she’d slap you in the face for letting your guard down That was now.

 “It’s obvious right? You stay as you are now and die OR you have a shot at living and die. Why wouldn’t an optimist pick door number 2?”

“That’s true but…my bad luck. I can’t win.” T-That’s right, it’s like Komaeda always says - nobody can fight luck.

“Oh I see. So you’ve adopted Ko’s bullshit and made it your own. I suppose that’s understandable. Your luck is some powerful stuff but at the end of the day, you’re still giving up right?  Do I really need to give you a dictionary and look up the word ‘optimism’ cuz that’s kinda the opposite of what you’re doing.” She adorned a pair of glasses from out of nowhere.

“Can we not talk about this?” He nearly pleaded

“Well it’s the same with Kirigiri so we’d be at a fence there too. You said it yourself, you don’t think you can help her even if she did need it so you’d rather pawn it off on her *cough*imaginary*cough* friends. And even before that, you wouldn’t help her unless she told you. What the fuck is that shit!? Anyone who spends like a week with that chick knows she’s got problems and you’ve known her for MONTHS! The hell is your excuse? Ya got Brain damage or some- …oh wait, you  do huh?  Okay, let’s ignore that minor detail.” She continued

“I’m not sure if this is your real personality or just Komaeda projection but you have, like, ZERO guts whatsoever. You won’t even think for yourself unless you’re told. Optimist my ass, you’re as bad as Muku, ugh! Love ya both to bits though.”

 “Looks like that’s it for me. Models need their beauty sleep and the last thing I need are those dumbshits at work bitchin at me for daydreaming on those boring ass shoots.” Junko yawned 

The fashionista dramatically leapt off Komaeda’s bed and faced her back to him

“I don’t know what sort of impression you’ve cooked up in that head of yours but talent doesn’t solve all problems and it certainly hasn’t done Kirigiri any favors in this field. If you don’t want  to help out because of  some dumbass  delusion, I hope you realize you’d be doing the same thing as dear old daddy and abandoning her.”

Eh? Abandoning? He wasn’t…

Kirigiri could tackle any sort of problem that came her way, that’s what it meant to have talent and someone below even average couldn’t make a difference.

Had that just been a lie he had deceived himself with after all?

“One more thing.” Junko started “Nagito’s sure been working hard. Make sure to thank him while you still have the chance.”

Komaeda…what was he doing right now?

Before she left, Makoto called out to her.

“Junko…are we…friends?” He asked timidly

She stared at him wide-eyed for a few seconds

Then she laughed, more than he’d ever seen her.

“’Are we friends’ he says, pffft-ahahaha”

She wiped a tear off her eyes. “Oh man, this is why I love hanging out here.”

“But don’t ask questions you already know the answer to. I’ve done enough spoon-feeding for one lifetime; you kids are on your own now.”

“Wait a second; before you leave…I need your advice on something.” He fished an object out of the bag on the side of his bed.

“A present for me? If you think I’m that easy of a girl, you’ve got ano-… um, Makoto?” There was a significant disconnect in reactions at the end there.

“What?”

“Why…do…you…have that?” She asked with a blank expression.  It was one he’d never seen from Junko before.

“This?” He said, waggling the phallic object in his hands. “I bought this toy a while back but haven’t got the chance to give it or use it on anyone, Kirigiri acts like a kid sometimes so I thought maybe she’d be interested. Want to help me try it out first? I could give this to you after we’re done and get another one for Kirigiri!” The device convulsed rapidly as he turned it on and pointed it towards her.

 “…”

“Junko?” He tilted his head.

“Huh? No… It’s nothing…Just thinking my managers might be right.” She turned away and shut the door behind her

“Daydreaming is scary.”

\---

Day broke.

Using his internal clock, Makoto realized he had overslept and his body felt difficult to move.

Kirigiri’s words came to mind first.

Ah that’s right; he had a name to the face now.

Junko’s words surfaced next.

What if he had been wrong all along and Kirigiri did need his help. That would mean he had been ignoring her pain all this time.

Guilt accompanied the realization.

He wanted to be wrong.

To do that, he needed to get out of bed first.

As Makoto tried to move his arms, he felt a chain rattle.

“Huh, what the…” 

W-Was he handcuffed?

He deduced that to be exactly the case when he saw his left hand being  tied to the side of the bed by metallic cufflinks.

 “ Mr.Naegi. I’m glad to see you’re awake.” Mikan entered the room, a pair of keys and a syringe in hand.

He raised his cuffed hand as high as he could to signify the elephant in the room.

Wait, did she call me formally? Uh oh…

“Don’t w-worry about that. I tried my best to be gentle a-as to not damage your wrists.” She laid the items on the table. She sounded apologetic yet she her eyes were guiltless.

“M-Mikan, what’s going on?”  Did she just admit to being behind this?

“Oh, I’ve requested a small leave of absence from school for a bit – classes aren’t mandatory, you see. I-I’ll be using that time to take care of you properly.” She smiled.

“This is going a bit far don’t you think?” He wasn’t panicking _that_ much anymore. This is Mikan we’re talking about; sure it was a total breach in personal privacy and definitely against the law but she wouldn’t _hurt_ him.

“Could you look at this mirror please?” She answered with a question of her own and a raised a pocket mirror to his face

Makoto saw himself in the reflection and winced. Junko wasn’t off the mark when she called him a corpse.

“Your complexion s-should have been a lot better than this, if I had done my job.” She started shaking “Instead I listened to Junko and Komaeda and l-looked the other way, b-but no more. I’ll make sure you get better.” The nurse said, resolutely. It would warm the heart in just about any other scenario.

He appreciated the sentiment, he really did…but there’s no way what she’s doing was sane. It wasn’t even legal!

Hell, it wasn’t even a _good idea_. It’s not like these walls are sound proof.

“Hypothetically speaking, couldn’t I just scream and get someone in here?” He tread over his options carefully.

 “I’d really appreciate it if you didn’t do that, Mr.Naegi…and I know you won’t.” Mikan got that far off look in her eyes. “If you screamed and someone found us, I could get in a lot of trouble and that’s why you won’t do it. You’re kind, one of the only people who have ever been nice to me. You’ve _always_ been kind to me. You paid attention without calling me names like p-pig barf or Holstein cow and you respected me, n-nobody else does that.”

Damn, she was right. He would never rat Mikan out like that and it’s not like his life was in danger. If anything, she was the one who always tried the hardest to save him and…he ignored her too.  

“T-That’s why I won’t let you die, no matter what. Even if that means I have to go a liiitle far, I won’t let you get away.”

Makoto gulped. Now it was time to start panicking.

What to do? He examined his surroundings and found nothing. There was nothing useful in here…nothing…

That’s right! It was morning and Komaeda still hadn’t returned. That was definitely more important to Mikan right now.

He just had to say it and regret throwing his roommate under the bus later.

“Ah, Komaeda? Yes…he’s been very disagreeable lately too. He already notified the office that he was staying at home, even though he shouldn’t be.” Mikan grumbled bitterly.

That didn’t sound good, Komaeda didn’t have anyone there. That was just asking for bad luck.

Even acknowledging that…”Why don’t you go tie him up instead? Komaeda has it worse than me and he’s your friend too.”

“Eh? Komaeda and I are friends? Since when?” She asked, confused

That wasn’t the response he wanted. Komaeda treated Mikan just as kindly as he did and practically worshipped the ground she walked on. Why wouldn’t they be friends after seeing each other every day?

“You s-seem to be misunderstanding. Komaeda doesn’t really associate with anyone in class. Whenever we tried, he’d just brush everyone off politely. If not for the information I have in his files, I’m sure we’d still be s-strangers even though we’ve known each other for years.”

That was…wrong. You don’t know someone for that long and NOT build a relationship, that’s ridiculous. Especially after Komaeda always talked about how great the ultimates are.

 _I don’t know what sort of impression you’ve cooked up in that head of yours but talent doesn’t solve all your problems and it certainly hasn’t done Kirigiri any favors in this field._ Makoto remembered the words Junko left him the previous night.

…shit

 “Though, I think he’s friends with you at least.” Mikan continued

How did she get that impression?

“Thanks but I’m pretty sure he thinks I’m a nuisance.” He said awkwardly, still struggling to break free.

“B-but you’re the only one who he calls by their given name. D-don’t tell me you were too sick to notice?” She started panicking, having taken his inability to recognize Komaeda’s peculiarity the wrong away.

“Still, that doesn’t make us friends. Komaeda doesn’t _like_ talentless people, he probably just bothered to get used to my  name since we see each other frequently.”

“I don’t think that’s correct. I-I don’t want to sound mean but Komaeda doesn’t think of, um, ‘regular’ people as _people;_ more like insects and you wouldn’t bother to call something like that by name, right?”

If Makoto could move his arm, he may have face-palmed. She _was_ right. Komaeda had met Komaru tons of times and he’d never once referred to her by name.

“But then why didn’t he ever say anything?”

“Komaeda i-is kind of bad at expressing himself, maybe that’s what causes misunderstandings? His disease probably doesn’t help with that either.” She muttered

That…didn’t make it true. That was just a theory based on observation, she _couldn’t_ know unless Komaeda told her.

“Umm, I _am_ a nurse. I’ve dealt with patients who don’t know what’s best for them and in some cases, aren’t well enough to think about it properly. I’m the one who has to pick up on those details. If I or any doctor needed patients to tell _us_ that they needed help before doing anything, a lot of them would probably die. Some people just can’t help themselves no matter how hard they try and that’s why I’m here.” Mikan spoke sagely of her occupation.

Makoto was impressed by her logic but…wasn’t that the reason why he was handcuffed!? This girl…is she seriously trying to justify his situation with that speech!?

“Hehehehe, that’s exactly it. You don’t know what’s best for you so it’s my job to care for you instead.” She said shamelessly.

This is messed up.

He needed to think of a way out of this but what could he say? Mikan had effectively admitted to dismissing his words on account of his ignorance. He wasn’t talking his way out of this.

Makoto desperately rattled his arm against the cuffs, hoping something would come off and set him free. Some Ultimate lucky student candidate he was.

“Stop that! You could get hurt!” Mikan screamed, she rushed over after picking the syringe from the table.

“W-what are you going to do with that?”

“This? It’s just a light sleeping supplement. You’ll only be knocked out for a little while but it’s for your own good.” She was unable to hide the guilt as she spoke those words.

Now he was full-on panicking

Mikan drew closer and brought the needle to his skin with a warped smile.

Makoto closed his eyes, wincing as the tip penetrated his flesh. As if he needed more of a reason to hate needles.

The next thing he heard was a loud thud and Mikan clumsily fell on top of him.

Eh?

In front of him stood a freckled girl adorned in a Hope’s peak uniform.

“I’m Mukuro, Junko’s older sister. She told me to watch over you.” She said, matter-of-factly. She had picked up the keys and used it to unlock his cuffs. Afterwards, she jumped back.

Makoto was free but he wasn’t sure he agreed with those methods.  From the looks of it, Mikan had just been knocked out…he placed her in a more comfortable position on the bed.

“You’ve…been watching me? Since when?”

“A while.” The freckled girl shrugged

That certainly explained a few things.

“I see...thanks for the help. Including the time from before too.” He brought out his hand for her to shake.

Rather than reciprocate the gesture, Mukuro further distanced herself by stepping back.

“W-What’d I do?”  He wondered.

“…Last night, Junko advised me that ‘despite herbivore appearances, you’re an incredibly dangerous individual and I shouldn’t let my guard down’. Personally, I don’t see it but there are few people able to make Junko cautious, therefore I’m certain you must be formidable.”

That didn’t answer his question…it only raised more…aaah, he was getting sidetracked.

There was somewhere he had to be and something he needed to get over.

\---

Her name was Kyouko Kirigiri.

He’d repeated those words while humming a tune - His heavy legs dragging through the fresh snow on an unfamiliar road.

Junko had been right. Kyouko really had needed his help.

Naegi had gotten a sense of that a long ago but he had doubted his own intuition, his own worth as a person and he still does. At most, he gave vague advice in case he missed the mark and that led to a near worst-case scenario.

Still, Kyouko should be fine now after they got everything out in the open. Unlike him, she had confidence and the ability to succeed.

The problem now was the dilemma he had to face.

_“I’ll be keeping this until I’m finished reading…and I don’t intend to finish it alone so I guess I’ll just hold onto it until you’re well enough to come back.”_

He chuckled derisively

That was easy to say but going through with it was another story.

His only cure was an operation with a minimalce cha of success however, even if the margin was higher, Makoto wouldn’t have gone through with it. Leaving it to chance is the same as losing outright when it came to his bad luck.

There was no such thing as karma and everyone’s degree of luck is determined from the day they were born. You’re either blessed by good fortune, cursed with misfortunate or a mix. Unfortunately, he experienced only misfortune so hoping for success would be the same as trying to fight against an ominipotent force.

Anyone could see how that would turn out. That said, he didn’t want things to stay as they were either.

That’s why he needed to go to the only person he knew could help, Komaeda. Only Makoto had barely interacted with the lucky student for some time and now he decided to coop himself up in his home.

Thankfully Makoto knew the address and it was within walking distance…for common people. Which meant it would still be a pain for him.

Ah well, it hadn’t taken too long to reach the estate…yeah, it was pretty big. He could tell that much just by standing outside the property.

Makoto pushed on the rusty gates and found they were unlocked. That wasn’t very safe.

He ventured into the compound and took in the scenery. Fallen tree branches, decayed pavements and broken ornaments as far as the eye could see.

 If anything, the snow had done its best to mask just how bad a condition the yard was in. The mansion itself fared no better.

It was…unpleasant to say the least, when compared to the garden he frequented. A more tragic thought was that this place would probably have been gorgeous in its prime.

Rather than a home, this place felt like a rotting gravestone…and Komaeda lived here? Alone?

A mix of emotions welled within him; anger, disappointment and pity came to mind.

Makoto breathed in and rang the doorbell. No sound emitted in response.

Even the bell was broken…

He banged on the dusty door. Nobody came down.

Was Komaeda not home? There was no way he came over for nothing.

In that case, all he had to do was wait inside.

The main gate was unlocked, the yard uncared for…so most likely, the front door wouldn’t be any different.

Makoto turned the knob and as expected, the door opened.

He shook his head and sighed.  Breaking and entering, that’s a first.

He entered the mansion and closed the door behind him.

The inside looked better than he expected.  As far as he could see, the place was relatively empty but still clean. Someone must have done housekeeping recently.

No traces of life could be found on the first floor so he made his way upstairs to the bedrooms. Not that he was looking for somewhere to lie down. Definitely not.

There were many rooms. Most were nothing special.

But Makoto had noticed one that was…strange. He opened the door and was met with dust. So much that he broke  into a coughing fit. Unlike everywhere else in the house, that room alone was unclean. Not in the sense that the room was messy. The inside was orderly – a large bed for two, expensive-looking (yet filthy) drawers and decorations…but it felt as if the room hadn’t been touched in years, like someone preserved its state.

Makoto opened the door furthest down the hall and furrowed his eyebrows at the unorthodox sight; there was Komaeda, apparently asleep.

That by itself wasn’t worth fussing over. The issue was _where_ he slept, for the marshmallow-haired boy was curled up on the _floor_ next to his empty bed.

This time there weren’t any handcuffs to keep Makoto from smacking his forehead.

_Deep breaths, Makoto. He’s just…different from everyone else._

Makoto moved over towards the sleeping boy and nudged him awake.

Komaeda groggily got up; still unaware of his surroundings evidenced by how he had yet to notice the other presence (namely himself) in the room.

When Komaeda did, the two had a mutual staring contest until Makoto broke the silence.

“Hiya” Makoto addressed him in an intentionally casual manner unbefitting the situation. 

“…I’m sure you have a very good explanation for this, yes?” He spoke in a monotone voice but Makoto noticed a tinge of disbelief accompanying it. To be fair to Komaeda, waking up to meet another guy in your room who _really_ shouldn’t be there, is probably cause for concern.

“Nope, I broke in. Your fault for leaving everything unlocked – if I’m a bother then this should serve as a good lesson for you.” Makoto grinned.

“Fine, never mind that. If you’ve come all the way here then you must have business with me then.” Komaeda got straight to the point.  Too bad, Makoto wanted to play around a bit more.

“Um…before that. Could I ask what you’ve been up to all this time?” He scratched the back of his neck

“…Does that concern you?” Why so standoffish?

“O-of course it does! You’re my friend, aren’t you?” He beamed.

A pregnant pause passed between the two while Komaeda held an indiscernible expression.

“U-Um…f-forget I said anything.” Dammit Mikan!

 “Here.” Makoto handed Komaeda the notebook and the ring.

“These are?”

“Gifts. I didn’t know when your birthday was so I thought we could celebrate something else.” He said, bashfully. “I know you have a lot of trouble remembering things or expressing yourself clearly so I thought a notebook would help. The ring’s just a bonus.”

Komaeda’s reaction was just as puzzled as the last. He placed the items on the ground and gazed at Makoto gravely.  “What are you really here for?”

Eh? He didn’t like them? Makoto pouted but rather than complain, focused on the matter at hand.

“I need some advice.” He explained his situation, hoping the luckster could give him some assurance before deciding whether to undergo the surgery.

“And you thought I was an expert on the subject? Fair I suppose. So what do you want me to say?” Komaeda raised an eyebrow

“You don’t know?”

“Of course I do…and so should you. My views on luck should be more than clear by now so you know what I’m going to say. For you to come all the way here means _you’re expecting something else_ …that’s why I’m the one who should be asking: What do you want me to say?”

“No good then.” He lowered his head

“Why the change of heart?” Makoto’s eyes met Komaeda’s calculating ones. “You held off this long on the operation so why change your mind now?”

“I promised Kyouko I’d get cured…”

“Kyouko…Kirigiri? It was the headmaster’s daughter? That’s quite the talent indeed…how lucky I am.”

Makoto started at Komaeda in confusion.

Komaeda paid it no mind and continued “But you must feel quite angry at being forced to accept such an irresponsible request.”

“No I-“ He began before Komaeda cut him off.

“It’s only natural. Those without talent can’t ever hope to understand those with it…and the reverse is also true. Those who shine brightly with hope can’t see the darkness that lurks in those that don’t have it.” Were those swirls in his eyes?

“But isn’t she the reason you’re suffering like this right now? I may be wrong but from what I could see, you were content to spend the rest of your waking days in peace but now you’ll have to cut it short. And for someone who can’t possibly understand your situation either.”

He couldn’t deny a part of that was true but…”You’re kidding right? There’s no way I’d hate or blame anyone for my problems, much less Kyouko.”

“That so? I gotcha…then I guess you won’t mind if I ask why you have a tendency to make discouraging  glances at your little sister when she’s not looking?” He smirked and crossed his arms.

“Huh?”

“Didn’t you notice or are you pretending _not_ to have noticed? Whenever _That_ took her eyes off you, your features changed. Sometimes you looked sad, envious or even angry…the point is not one of those alterations were ever positive. What’s more is that they were momentary, as if snapping out of a trance – if somebody wasn’t paying attention, they’d miss it…thankfully, I’d seen you act that way far too many times to not notice the pattern. “

“Where are you going with this?” Makoto twitched.

“I assumed you just weren’t consciously aware of your dislike towards others. That’s when I came up with the plan to use Kirigiri.” The vexing grin grew wider as he continued to make outrageous statements.

Makoto froze.

“Well, I _say_ I did but it was really just me cooperating with Enoshima. Really, I didn’t even know who it was you were seeing; I just needed it to be an ultimate you could relate with. Enoshima took care of the details; I just made it so it was easier for you to sneak off. Enoshima and I had our own goals of course but I couldn’t help but recognize how she seemed a lot more enthusiastic in seeing mine come to fruition compared to her own. For a beacon of hope, she has some rather unpleasant traits.” Komaeda admitted, long gone off into his own world.

Who… was he to talk?

“…Wasn’t it Mikan’s choice to let me leave?” He tried to remain calm and assess exactly what the luckster was implying. He already knew Junko had played a role in artificially manufacturing his and Kyouko’s relationship but Komaeda seemed to have more…worrisome intentions.

“Just how much influence do you think Tsumiki has over her superiors? We were at a state-of-the-art medical facility, not a _daycare_. Did you really think someone as sick as you could just be allowed to waltz off whenever you pleased because a single, albeit exceptional nurse looked the other way?”

“Then why?” Makoto grit his teeth and started shaking.

“I told you didn’t I? My parents were sponsors so this place is quite literally indebted to me, their sole heir. Having professionals turn a blind eye to you was easy.” He said with a nonchalant wave of hand.

Naegi grabbed the taller man by the collar, and threw him a furious glare.

“Not that! I want to know why you’d even think of manipulating me like this!”

“There’s no need to raise your voice. And manipulate is a strong word, all I did was give you an opportunity. Everything else was on you…and besides; your feelings towards her or anyone else are your own business.”

“I want to know why, KOMAEDA! What possible reason could you have for this!?!”

“Ah, only that?” He appeared genuinely surprised, given the context, there’s no way Makoto could believe that was the case. “The reason is simple, we’re similar so I wanted to see if you felt the same way I did.  Our circumstances aren’t exactly the same but they _are_ close enough that you and I should be able to understand one another, more than most people can at least.”

He swiped Naegi’s arms off him.

“I wanted to see those ugly emotions brought to the surface as you accepted exactly just how utterly insignificant you are compared to your betters. Your sister is certainly better off than you and yet, despite being ‘just’ an average, worthless person that can be found anywhere, she was able to get the reaction from you I longed for. I was interested in seeing how you’d fare against prolonged exposure to a true ultimate; one without any obligation to care for you like Tsumiki or had a shallow interest like Enoshima. That…and I wanted to get back at you for what you said on that day…I think.” His grin rew wider.

The smaller boy took several steps back and couldn’t believe what he heard.  

“Have you forgotten? I haven’t...hahaha.” He let out a wheezy laughter. “My own memories are in shambles, I don’t remember my dog’s name or my parent’s faces. Even new acquaintances fade from memory after a day…but I remember that Fall morning all too clearly…that’s why I won’t allow you to act like you’ve forgotten.” Komaeda moved towards him with slow steps.

“This…all of this…was just payback for that?” Makoto muttered weakly

“Now you’re dismissing it as unimportant? Just how arrogant are you?” He raised his voice.

“I-I said I was sorry.” He sounded pathetic, he knew that but it was the truth. Makoto thought as he bit back tears.

“Don’t tell me you were actually stupid enough to think you could brush it off just by saying ‘sorry’. Any time I even try to think about hope now, _your_ accusations just slap me in the face, like a festering wound that never heals!” Komaeda had backed Naegi into a wall, the latter cowering under him.

“That’s why I wanted to get even. After all, what on Earth trash like you had to be optimistic about, I could never understand. That’s when I thought of a way to make you realize that you’re just as wretched as I am.” There it was. Komaeda was now wearing that same resentful glare he had only ever seen once.

“So how about it, Makoto Naegi? Have you finally realized that optimism is just a lie? That it’s just a coping method to deal with your shitty life?” He snarled.

Makoto felt something inside him snap.

“You’re wrong.” He said

“What was that?”

“I said you’ve got that wrong!” Makoto yelled and pushed Komaeda off him. The luckster’s body was incredibly light and was pushed back further than Makoto intended…but he didn’t care.

“You seriously think I hate Komaru and Kyouko, just because I’m sick and they’re not?” He balled his hands into fists “Okay, I’ll admit it. I’m not an optimist and in every way, I’m just as average as everyone else but I _never_ hated anyone because of that. Sure, I was definitely envious and for a time I actually wished I could trade places with others but that was because I _admired_ them. Ever since I was instated in that hospital, I was surrounded by incredible people; Mikan, Junko, Kyouko and even you!” Makoto pointed at his once-thought friend.

“I may be average but I’m still worth a hell of a lot more than you. At least I have people that care about me. What about you!? You have no friends and no family, who would even remember you? I can’t believe I thought for a second that we were friends, that you might have actually _liked_ me. Instead you’ve just been holding onto a stupid grudge for months! You’re just as hollow and pathetic as this wreck you call a home!”

For the third time that evening, Komaeda had a reaction Makoto had never seen before – one utterly devoid of emotion.

 Makoto didn’t wait for a response. He marched out of the room and slammed the door behind him.   

He’d forgotten the items he brought along with him…not like he could take them back now.

_Friends…what the hell had he been thinking?_

An all too familiar sensation surfaced. Makoto’s body became heavy or maybe it was always that way and the rush of adrenaline had stymied the effects.

_No…not…he.re….._

He collapsed.

_Just my luck._

\---

...

He found himself lying on a soft bed, with the sun out once again.

The brown-haired boy felt his forehead as tried to remember exactly where he had spent the night. The disagreeable events from the past evening came to memory.

He should get back to the hospital, Mikan’s probably worried sick…but first, he should at least thank Komaeda for letting him stay the night

That wasn’t a very comforting thought. Considering the words exchanged previously, the awkwardness would be off the charts…

It later proved to be an unnecessary concern as he couldn’t find Komaeda anywhere; maybe he went to school…oh well, not like he needed to worry about that jerk anymore.

He’d left the gates and front door unlocked. Without a key, he couldn’t do anything anyway.

He walked for several minutes with his head down.

Just great, he had gone there to look for direction and now he was more aimless than when he began...

The next thing Makoto knew, he collided with something. Before he looked up to see who, a pair of hands shoved him to the ground.

The scratched his hair before glaring at his assailant.

It was a large group of what Makoto deduced to be HPA students.

“Watch it, pipsqueak.” One of the taller ones, likely the one had bumped into, sneered down at him. A girl besides him giggled.

What a great day this was shaping up to be.

“Woah, he doesn’t look too good. Did you injure him?” One sounded genuinely concerned

“Huh…shit you’re right. It ain’t my fault though, I barely touched the kid.”

 “You totally floored him. If he croaks, you’re in serious shit.”  Another joked, as if there was anything funny at his expense.

Makoto didn’t even need to think about whether he really looked that bad because he had confirmed it the previous day.

“Naegi? Makoto Naegi, is that you?” He followed the sound of the voice and locked onto a blue-haired girl who stood out amongst the crowd. He recognized that face anywhere. Hell, the entire country would.

“You know him, Sayaka?”

“Yeah…uh, we were friends from middle school.” …We were? Come to think of it, how did she know his name?

“R-Really? Sorry about that, kid.”  They boy stretched his arm out. Makoto accepted, as to avoid the situation getting any more awkward.

Maybe he wasn’t such a bad guy…or maybe he was just trying to impress Maizono. Either way, all Makoto wanted was to get out of here.

“Hmm, I’ll catch up with you guys later.” Maizono announced suddenly, and grabbed Makoto’s arm.

“Wow, Sayaka usually doesn’t go up to boys like that. Maybe they’re secretly dating.”

“With a guy like that? No way, he doesn’t seem like her type.”

The gossip died down as the two got further away.

Was it alright for her to be doing this? He wondered as the idol dragged him off to a nearby café.

\---

Naegi sat across her with a skinny mocha latte grande in front of him. She had paid since he had nothing on him but even if he did, there’s no way he’d even know what to order. They were at a small coffee shop down the road, likely to avoid a crowd.

 More importantly, how did he get into situations like this? He wouldn’t call it bad luck in this case but it was way out of left field. Makoto had told Kyouko that he’d be glad to introduce himself to Maizono if he got the chance but that was advice for her sake rather than his. He wasn’t ready at all.

Bet Komaru would freak if she heard this too…assuming she visits me again.

“Are you really Naegi?” He hadn’t really answered back then so her uncertainty was a natural reaction.

He timidly nodded.

“I knew it! I recognize that hair anywhere.” She exclaimed, actually happy to see him.

Small talk was it? He didn’t really have much to say.  The problem wasn’t nervousness but conscientiousness; he must’ve looked like a mess which greatly contrasted the appearance of the person sitting in front of him

“Don’t worry about that, it doesn’t bother me one bit.” She spoke with such authenticity that it became impossible to doubt her.

“D-Did I say that out loud?” He asks

“Nope, I’m just psychic.” Maizono explained “I’m kidd-“

“So that’s how you knew my name!” A wide-eyed Makoto gushed loudly, catching the attention of the nearby customers.

“Um…sorry.”  He blushed.

She laughed. It was gentle enough for Makoto to know it wasn’t intended to belittle him. “I’ve used that joke a lot in the past but that – _that reaction_ was a first for me.”

“Eh? So you’re not psychic?” That was kind of disappointing.

“ _Not a chance_. A talent like that doesn’t exist…well, one of my classmates says he’s sort of psychic but I think he’s just a con-artist.” She dismissed the notion with a wave of the hand.

“Then how did you know my name? I don’t think we talked in middle school or the first year of high school…actually, I’m surprised you knew me at all.”

“Hmmm, mind if I answer that with a related question of my own?” She turned the tables.

He nodded, wondering she could have to ask him.

“Where did you disappear to last year?” He’d almost choked on his drink. It was the last thing he expected to hear and an inquiry he wasn’t prepared to answer.

“Well…I…uh” That wasn’t something he could just up and tell strangers.  He was expecting a light conversation.

“…So you’re sick then?” She said, almost flippantly “I figured.”

He gasped “Are you sure-”

“I’m really not psychic.” She cut him off. “I just have good intuition. There was a rumor going on around school that you stopped a robbery and got injured along the way, a lot of people believed it – the latter part moreso than the first. Not sure if you knew it but Makoto Naegi was a name synonymous with bad luck back then.  Judging by your appearance, I can put the pieces together but I’d rather hear the truth from you.”

There wasn’t a way to confirm this because he never went back to school.

“…Yeah, that’s exactly what happened. I got into an accident around that time and now I’m close to falling into a coma.” He admitted in a strained voice. If she already knew, then he’d be better off going with the flow.

“Naegi…you’re amazing.” She spoke with admiration.

Makoto blinked “W-What? In what way?”

“Are you kidding? You were 15 and stopped a hi-jacking. You’re a hero, how could anyone _not_ find that amazing?” Maizono rolled her eyes.

Now that he thought about it. This may have been the first time someone personally complimented him for that day, even his family just chastised him about being reckless and driving a friggin bus. Nobody had ever called him amazing before and here, _the_ Sayaka Maizono was saying it?  She had to be playing nice.

“It wasn’t anything that special. I was practically forced into acting because of the pressure from everyone else on that bus.” He scratched the back of his neck and brought the coffee to his lips.

“Maybe, but at the end of the day, you still chose to do it. It’d have been a lot easier just to keep your head down and nobody could have blamed you.”

Was that true? Maybe…if they didn’t have the guts to do it themselves, why blame a kid? And they didn’t pressure him all that hard either.

“Modesty is nice but low self-esteem isn’t very endearing, Naegi. You should have more confidence in yourself.” She suggested

Confidence…maybe he could find what he was looking for here.

“Could I ask you something? Hypothetically speaking, let’s say…um…let’s say there was a performance you _really_ needed to ace or your popularity would sink and your chances weren’t very high…would you still do it?” He asked the fatalistic question while darting his eyes back and forth.

“Um, well in my case, my manager deals with all of that and we can’t really refuse. For the sake of “hypotheticals” though, I’m assuming you mean an all-or-nothing gambit or face a steady decline. In which case, it’d be better to go for it, I think.” She answered matter-of-factly.

“Why?”

“My career means a lot to me, if there’s a chance I could save it then I’d have no reason to decline. I’d think of that chance as a blessing if anything, otherwise all I’d have to look forward to is failure. Where’s the hope in that?”

Hope.

“And more importantly, I think I’d regret my decision if I didn’t take that chance, you know.”

“Yeah…you’re right.” He smiled.

 “So, you’ll do that operation right?” Maizono’s sudden question nearly sent him falling out of his chair.

He gave her another surprised look.

“It was pretty obvious.” She answered, deadpanned.

“Ah, well to answer your question, I’m not sure but I think I might now.” He muttered  
“Is that so? It isn’t my place to say this but I hope you do as I’d like to keep seeing you again in the future, if possible.”

She wants to do this again?

“Why did you want to meet with me like this?” What did she see in him?

“…Taking advantage of the opportunity, I guess. We never got to talk back in school and I didn’t want to let this chance slip away.” She shrugged

 “Even though you’re ridiculously famous and I’m average at best. I don’t think it’s a good look if you’re seen with someone like me.” 

“Naegi, when you say average, would you include most of my fans in that description?” Maizono appeared to have picked up on his choice of words. The smile she’d kept until now dropped into a frown.

“Probably?” That’s what Komaeda would say for sure…wait, why am I even considering what _he_ thinks?

“I see… secondly, what do you think are the most important attributes of being an idol?”

“I’m not sure…I think you have to be able to sing, dance and be a lot cuter than most.”

“Thanks for the indirect compliment but the answer isn’t so specific.” She said, as if she was certain he wouldn’t have gotten the right answer anyway. “There were others out there who could sing and dance better than I ever could. They were also those that were prettier than I was too…but there’s a reason I’m where they aren’t.”

The mood grew tense as Maizono stared at him with a neutral stare.

“I was better at getting people to like me.” She declared without hesitation.

“The rest just plays second fiddle. What matters the most is an idol’s ability to appeal to the aesthetics of her fans and do whatever it takes to succeed.  Being an idol isn’t all smiles and games, Naegi. Regardless of how talented you are it’s useless without confidence or resolve to back them up and even then, it all depends on how the fans, those _average_ people perceive you. Without them I’d be nothing so can you _really_ call them inept just because they don’t have talent?”

“No, I didn’t mean it that way. Honest!” He sputtered and stammered.

She sighed “I believe you and I never got the idea that you were the type of person to worry about superficial traits. I’m just wondering where all of that was coming from.”

Where? He’d always thought he was average but he never let that get him down nor did he think he was so much worse than others because of it. He used to be optimistic but that all changed after the accident…no, even then he still believed in himself. If that mentality came from anywhere, Komaeda would have been the primary source of influence.

Thinking about it now, he’d just been swallowing whatever Komaeda fed him and treated it as the gospel… Why did he have to doubt his worth just because of someone else’s opinion? Especially someone who admitted to sabotaging him?

“Naegi?” Maizono asked, worried.

“Hmm?” He snapped back into reality.

“You were scowling…or pouting, I couldn’t tell which. Something on your mind?”

“I just found out my roommate secretly hated me, so probably him.”

“Oh really? I can relate to that somewhat. I can’t count how many times my “friends” have tried to stab me in the back.”  She seemed rather upset at that

“Seriously? I thought everyone liked you.”

“Everyone’s a stretch but yeah, its happened quite a few times…but in the end, they were the ones who needed me a lot more than I needed them. It’s also pretty easy to tell the fakes from the real friends. The fakes usually can’t last more than a few weeks before slipping and showing their true colors.”

“Mine was about a year.”

“That long? And you didn’t notice…that’s impressive.”

“Hey!” He whined.

She shook her head “No not you, I mean your roommate. If they disliked you that much but kept it hidden for a year…they’d have to be very tolerant. I don’t think I could pull it off, if I’m being honest.”

“Yeah well, I’d rather not think about that jerk any more than I need to.”

“Okay, let’s change the subject…say, Naegi. Do you have a girlfriend?” She teased.  
“N-No, there’s nobody like that.” He stammered, fiddling with his drink.

“I see…so are you interested in anyone?” This conversation seemed familiar.

“Um yeah kinda. I’ve been meeting with her for a few months now.”

“Oh~. Come on, give me a name.” Why was she so excited about this?

He didn’t feel like he could lie or evade the question here.

“Kyouko Kirigiri.”

“No way!” Maizono exclaimed loudly and slammed her hands on the desk.

“Maizono? Do you know Kyouko?”

“I can’t believe it! You’re the one!?” She pointed at him

“Um, Maizono?”

“Hina’s going to flip when she finds out I hit the jackpot!”

He had lost her. Maybe this was a bad idea after all.         

A cellphone rang. Clearly not belonging to him

“Shoot, I have to take this.”  She answered the call.

He directed his attention elsewhere. He figured it would be rude to listen in.

“Sorry, I need to get going.” Maizono announced. “But we’ve got to meet up after this. You’re going to tell me everything you’ve been up to.” She said, grasping his hands.

 “I live in Hope’s Peak’s medical ward, which isn’t too far away from the campus. You could just see me there. In return, could you not tell anyone about Kyouko?” He smiled sheepishly,

“Got it. I’ll see you soon.”  The pop sensation grabbed her things and gracefully left the cafe

Have confidence...was he really going to let the way he lived his life be decided by something as abstract as bad luck? And end up like Komaeda?

Like hell! He slammed his hand on the desk.

He’ll get through this and then I’ll shove Komaeda’s philosophy right back in his face.

\---

He returned to the hospital to meet a conflicted Mikan; both furious at him running away and apologetic for her own actions. Luckily, someone had called to let the hospital know he was fine. He didn’t have to think very hard to know who she referred to.

Besides, Mikan’s anger faded into surprise after Makoto declared he’d go through with the operation. The nurse froze and then began checking him for signs of (further) abnormalities in the brain. The mousy haired boy had to reassure Mikan that she was overreacting and he just had a lot of time to think about his decision.

In response, Mikan had filed his application to the doctors. Since it was an on-the-spot decision by him, he’d need to wait for everything to be ready.  That included notifying his family.

At the time, he still had 2 weeks before he had to meet up with Kyouko.

Days passed and his visitors became more frequent.  His parents for one showed up to give him their support which, he was thankful for.

Some familiar ones like Junko and Sayaka dropped by quite a few times. Their presence was welcome at the times they weren’t making fun of him, which happened to be most of the time. Okay, maybe he didn’t mind that much.

Komaru came sometime after that and she had brought the illustrious Touko Fukawa with her. This was the first time they had met despite Makoto receiving most of her books as a way to pass the time. The author didn’t believe he did at first but after responding to her questions in accurate detail, she conceded. Heck, she even insulted him for having too much time on his hands to “bother reading her drivel.” Geez, she needed to think more highly of herself, her works were great…if a bit formulaic. But it seemed Komaru was already helping out on that front anyway.

Speaking of which, Komaru had walked in on him and Sayaka once and given her fan obsession…well, it was pretty easy to tell how that little revelation went…Talk about embarrassing.

Now Naegi laid on the operating table on that fateful day. Large headlights hung above him while the surgeons prepared for undergo their arduous task.

He saw everyone at least once…everyone except Komaeda.

Naegi never did see him again. Even now, he couldn’t understand what was going through Komaeda’s head.

Even if he and the lucky student were on bad terms, it would have been…nice to have closure before the surgery.

The luckster’s reaction remained with him…. what would Komaeda have said had he stayed? Now that Makoto could think clearly, a lot of what Komaeda said and did just didn’t make sense and would he really have gone that far just for such a petty spat?  Perhaps but in the time Makoto had known him, Komaeda had just seemed above it all.

He couldn’t understand the lucky student but that didn’t mean he shouldn’t at least try.

“Mr.Naegi, we’re about to begin.” The surgeon snapped Makoto out of his thoughts and stated standard procedure.

As he nodded, they dosed him with anesthetics. He closed his eyes and let sleep overtake him ...... ... .. .

 

_"Hey...HEY THERE!"_

_"Who are you?"_

_"Huh? I'm Makoto Naegi, your new roommate. Nice to meet you!"_

_"Ah, did I miss the notice or did I forget?...No matter but could you not stand so close to me?"_

_"Eh? Aren't you going to tell me your name?"_

_"I don't see the point. My talent might be 3rd-rate but I'm still an Ultimate above your mediocre standing. Hmpf, even if by some brilliant stroke of luck, you proved to worth more than that to me, that just means you'd disappear just like all the rest. If that was the case, I'd say your bad luck would rival mine."_

_._

_"Komaeda, Mikan told me you're the Ultimate Lucky Student too."_

_"What do you mean 'too'?"_

_"I mean, not that I am one but I probably have luck too. I won the lottery but then couldn't go because of my illness...hehe."_

_"...You were denied entrance into Hope's Peak because of that?"_

_"Yup. More like the Un-luckster right?"_

_"That is...a frightening degree of bad luck indeed..."_

_.._

_"Komaedaaaa"_

_"What?"_

_"It's pet day tomorrow."_

_"I'm aware. Why they even allow pets into a walking hazard like this place boggles the mind. What if some of the patients are allergic?"_

_"But pets are awesome. Even if you only look from far away, something like a dog just makes you giddy inside."_

_"...I know."_

_"Oh, what's your favorite type of Pet? Mine are bears but you seem like a cat-person."_

_"Is this a personality-test in disguise? Also...bears?"_

_"Yeah, their fur makes them look cuddly."_

_"I hope you realize your lack of self-preservation and idiocy probably contributes to at least half of your luck."_

_"Uncalled for! And don't change the subject either."_

_"...Dogs."_

_"Eh?"_

_"My favorite pet is a dog."_

_..._

_"Makoto!"_

_"Komaru!"_

_"What...are you two doing?"_

_"Oh, Komaeda. Sorry to wake you but my sister came for a visit."_

_"You didn't answer my question...and should I even care?"_

_"Makoto, this guy seems kinda..."_

_"As expected of an average, talentless lemming. You can't even consolidate opinions without another's backing...or even finish your own sentences."_

_"Oi Komaeda. Ease up on my sister."_

_"You tell him, bro."_

_"...Disgusting."_

_...._

_"You're slightly less annoying today. What happened?"_

_"My parents couldn't come today. I wonder if they're...avoiding me."_

_"...You're probably overreacting. They wouldn't be much of parents if they ignored their own son at a time like this."_

_"You're right. It's probably just me."_

_"...You got over that rather quickly. I'm starting to wonder whether there's anything in that head of yours...that or you're a sociopath."_

_"You don't need to pick on me, I'm just optimistic."_

_....._

_"Hey Komaeda, how come your parents never come visit."_

_"..."_

_"Komaeda?"_

_"They died ages ago. In a plane hi-jacking."_

_"...S-Sorry...I didn't know."_

_"Of course you didn't, you wouldn't have asked if you did."_

_"Still...that must have been awful."_

_"For them, i'm almost certain. Being incinerated by a meteorite is probably quite a painful way to die."_

_"WHAT!? I thought you said it was a hi-jacking!"_

_"It was...and it was stopped by a meteorite. My parents just happened to be casualties while I survived."_

_"That's..."_

_"Lucky, right-"_

_"Terrible."_

_"Huh?"_

_"What? Am I wrong"_

_"Did I ever tell you how my luck works?"_

_"I don't think so."_

_"In that case, now is a good time as any. My luck is a cycle that goes from bad luck to good luck unlike your own. Had that Hi-Jacking been left alone, all 3 of us would probably have died. That it happened at all was a marvelous stroke of bad luck...however, the meteorite ended up killing everyone except me and I wound up  being massively wealthy. As you can see, the good luck overwhelmed the bad."_

_"...But your parents still died. No matter how you look at it, that was a tragedy. No amount of money could have been worth that."_

_"...That is...your opinion."_

_"Komaeda, you can't seriously think any of that was good luck."_

_"This discussion is over."_

_......_

_"Um...Komaeda?"_

_"...What is it?"_

_"I'm sorry."_

_"For?"_

_"The things I said, I didn't...No I did mean them but that didn't make it right. I was just being arrogant."_

_"...You don't need to apologize over such a trivial thing."_

_"Huh? But you almost died and you were gone for so long, how can you call that trivial!?"_

_"Almost? After everything I've told you about my luck, you still believe that? I wonder if its even possible for me to die."_

_"...I see. If that's what you say then its probably the truth...right?"_

_"...Of course."_

_......._

_"I forgot to ask. Did anything happen in my absence?"_

_"Huh...well something, I guess."_

_"Spit it out."_

_"You know about my medication right? Well, the doctors told me they're losing their effectiveness...and when they stop working, I'll need to undergo surgery."_

_"...I take it there's more or you would have done it already."_

_"Y-Yeah, there's only a 5% chance I'll make it and 95% that I'll fall into a perma-coma."_

_"..."_

_"Komaeda?"_

_"Does that not bother you?"_

_"Yeah but there's no point thinking about it. There's no way I'll do it."_

_"Why not? There's a chance you'd live. A small one but that's still a chance."_

_"...Are you playing around?"_

_"Excuse me?"_

_"You're the one who always calls luck unbeatable. You think I could survive with MY luck? Not a chance, I'd rather just live the rest of my days in peace...unless you know about a way for me to fight luck?"_

_"...No."_

_........_

_"Hey Komaeda. You said you have extreme cycles of luck right?"_

_"If I remember correctly then yes."_

_"Okay soooo...how come I've never seen anything like that?"_

_"What?"_

_"I mean, I've only heard stories from everyone but I've never seen it in person. Why's that?"_

_"...How strange..."_

_"Hmm?"_

_"I don't have answer for you. In the weeks I was gone, I won a few million on a random lottery so I know it still works but before that...there was nothing, it was the longest dry spell since I first received this talent. It must be bad timing on your end."_

_"Eeeeh? That's kind of unfair. I kind of wanted to see it in action at least once...just my bad luck again."_

_"...Yes, you're probably right."_

_........_

_"Makoto, do you feel like going out?"_

_"Eh? What's the occasion?"_

_"Nothing special, even I get bored of hanging around this place all day. Come with me to see the town."_

_"Wait, is it fine for you to be walking outside like that?"_

_"My parents used to be one of the facility’s biggest donors…and in a way, still are since I sponsor them with my inheritance. Far be it from me to do as I please against the wishes of my betters but they can’t really go against me"_

_"But, I-Is me coming along alright with you? "_

_"...When did 'it being alright with me' ever stop you?"_

_"Ah, its just...I don't want to be a bother."_

_"...You won't be...or is it that I'm too repulsive to be seen with in public? That much I can understand, you know."_

_"That's definitely not it! I just...well, if you say you're fine with me then sure, let's go."_

_"Did I...really need to say it out loud for you to get it?"_

_"What was that?"_

_"Never mind."_

_.........._

_"Komaeda, there's a shooting range over there. C'mon!"_

_"Why were you the one hesitating to come along? You're enjoying this more than I am."_

_"Are you...bored?"_

_"No."_

_'Great, so let's go already!"_

_"Hey, wait up. Tsk, what a kid."_

_"Thanks for bringing me out here. It beats the hospital halls by a mile."_

_"No problem...but really, all you wanted was a stuffed monokuma bear?"_

_"Yeah, I hear they're the fad nowadays and bears are cool. My aim was terrible but you nailed it in one shot. Was that your good luck?"_

_"No, that was just dexterity. Something you severely lack, unfortunately."_

_"Is that right?...But I still had fun. What were the chances of them having a festival today anyway, Komaeda?"_

_"It happens around this time every year. I just thought it was worth going to this time around."_

_"Hmm, what day is it?"_

_"April 28th."_

_..........._

_"Hey, wake up..."_

_A voice stirred his senses_

_"...Are you okay?"_

_His eyes fluttered open.  He observed his surroundings and found himself sitting in a classroom.  Only his desk was the only one in the room._

_"Yo, Makoto." In front of him was...Nagito Komaeda._

_He wasn't wearing his hospital attire but a green hoodie, white shirt and dark blue Jeans._

_"Komaeda...where are we?" Makoto asked, now noticing he too was in his own casual attire._

_"A dream from the looks of it." Komaeda replied._

_"So...what do you want from me?" He snapped._

_"Heh, I take it you're still quite angry with me."_

_"You tell me. You're the one who held a one-sided vendetta all this time."_

_"Hahaha-you're right. So we hate each other, that can't be helped. For now though, let's agree to make peace in spite of that."_

_"Do whatever you want."_

_"That's the plan...so Makoto, what have you learned since the last time we met?"_

_"That you've been a terrible source of influence and I should never have paid attention to a word that came out of your mouth...much less consider us friends."_

_"Hmm, harsh words. But you bring up a good point...however, what of Enoshima then?"_

_"Junko? What about her?"_

_"I would say she is also quite a bad influence. You've seen it yourself right? How she's able to manipulate people into acting according to her wishes. You were no exception and yet, you consider her a friend too." He crossed his arms and looked at Naegi with a condescending expression._

_"Junko and I...aren't friends. We could never be in the conventional meaning of the word."_

_"Oh so you know? That you're just a puppy she feels like playing with when she's in the mood and won't lift a nail to help unless its at her convenience?"_

_"..."_

_"And you're fine with that? You still think positively about her despite all that?"_

_"I told you didn't I? I admired Junko, just like the rest of you. She lives a free and self-serving life, does whatever she pleases without second-guessing herself. It was a life that I could only dream of...but its for that reason that It's hard to accept her as a friend. In her mind, there are no consequences to her rashness. Someone like that...is just too dangerous."_

_"You really do understand then, color me impressed. Here I thought you'd either blindly follow her after her  like the others or ignore what your intuition told you...just like you've been doing for the last while."_

_"And whose fault was that!?" Makoto yelled._

_"No need to get angry, I'm not worth it...but if it makes you feel better, you're right. it was absolutely my fault." Komaeda's expression turned somber "It never would have worked out...I was a poison to the cure."_

_"Komaeda?"_

_"But you shouldn't be too harsh on Enoshima. She is a symbol of hope too, you know." He recovered_

_"Where are you going with this?"_

_"Despite her behavior, Enoshima does have limits too. She knows just how far she needs to push something before it breaks and takes steps to make sure it doesn't. For you, that failsafe was Ikusaba's protection. Did you know about that?"_

_"Yeah, that's why I know what you're going to say. Those limits are what keep her from becoming something terrible."_

_"Pretty much. Take away those restrains and Enoshima would become a monster...perhaps even a worthy manifestation of despair."_

_"I don't understand what despair is supposed to mean but I already know all about Junko...because as much as I didn't want to admit it, I do understand her. Even if we don't see eye-to-eye, we can at least understand each other's viewpoints."_

_"I see...so that;s why you said difficult and not impossible. Whether you may like each other is arguable, but you tolerate one another because you've come to an understanding. Fascinating...so there were other ways."_

_"Enough Komaeda, you don't care about Junko. Where are you really going with all this?"_

_"Simple, even despair is something that can be controlled and curbed into something that's relatively harmless. In other words, it is inferior to the talent known as Ultimate luck, what both you and I possess."_

_"This again? I'm not buying it anymore. Just because you've given up on beating your own luck doesn't mean I have to."_

_"...How arrogant...or is still ignorance? Either way, you still don't get it. Maybe...this is just the difference of experience. I lost a lot more than you did after all."_

_"You can't win against luck, Makoto. It's like trying to fight against an abstract version of yourself; you won't even reach it. That is why, without a doubt, you'll die on that operating table. Perhaps not in the literal sense but you'll never wake up again."_

_"I'm not hearing it! Why do you always have to be so negative?"_

_"This isn't negativity. I'm speaking objectively. Nobody can beat their own luck. I know it better than anyone and subconsciously you do to. But there's another way."_

_"Another way...why are you telling me this now?"_

_"Hmm? Because there's nothing you could have done about it. If I told you, then it wouldn't have worked. Even without knowing, you almost ruined everything...but i think I  managed to salvage what was left in the end."_

_The classroom decor began to shimmer and the next thing he knew, he and Komaeda were standing in a blank space. 2 open doors on either side of the boys. 1 behind Makoto and the other behind Komaeda._

_"Ko...maeda?" He asked, afraid._

_"Looks like that's all." However, the older teen took it with stride._

_Against his will, Makoto turned back and began walking to the door behind him._

_"Huh? Why am I?" He tried to stop but to no avail._

_"Komaeda, what's happening!?" He turned his neck to see the Lucky student waving at him._

_"Nothing to be scared of, you're just waking up. Us meeting here is just a dream you cooked up in your head, none of it was real; of course, that includes me as well. You can't exactly control when you wake up from a dream so your body's moving on its own."_

_"Then, where are you going?"_

_"My door leads someplace else. Later, Makoto Naegi and...while I shamelessly dreamed of being more...thank you for considering someone as worthless as me as a friend." He freely approached his own exit._

_"Komaeda!"_

  _"I really did love the hope that slept inside of you." Nagito walked through it._

\---

............With considerable difficulty, is eyelids lifted  

_...bri-ght…._

The **rays of sunshine** were blinding and he couldn’t move his arms to shield his eyes.

…Who was he again? His thoughts were a mess and forming a coherent string of them proved a challenge.

_Na-…Name_

It was. Mako...to? Yeah that was it. Why’d he forget? He tried to sound it out but nothing came. His throat itched far too much.

He remembered. He just went through the operation. His recollection had taken a dizzyingly long time…was it that long? He couldn’t tell and decided it was more trouble than it was worth to test it. Slow steps were less annoying.

Makoto just laid there, unable to make out the passage of time. Perhaps he was still under the effects of the anesthetics? What a pain, couldn’t they have used something less severe?

Either way, his eyesight began to adjust. Slowly, he recognized the room as his own. He wished everything was less…white so it’d be easier to distinguish between what was what.

More time passed and he gained enough feeling to move his back and pushed it against the board of the bed in order to sit upright.

After what seemed like ages he also regained slight motor control over his wrists. To describe the situation as uncomfortable would be the understatement of the year. Was he supposed to be panicking? He hadn’t thought that far yet so it probably wasn’t necessary.

The next thing he felt was cold…and heat, simultaneously. It was freezing but he sweated all the same. Did that even make any damn sense? An external breeze passed through him. It wasn’t natural; Makoto knew enough to recognize the **air conditioning.**

Guess he just needed to wait for someone. It was still daylight so it must have either been morning or early in the afternoon, which meant Mikan was probably in class. Talk about frustrating, whenever you need her she’s never there!

…Why was he angry at Mikan? She hadn’t done anything wrong…but… he was irritated. Super irritated beyond belief and that wasn’t like him at all.

Argh, he’d take Junko’s whining any day over this!

Even thinking about why he was mad made it worse. Maybe he should just stop thinking - that was a good idea.

Makoto took deep and painful breaths, which turned into coughs.

What the hell did they do to him? Could he sue for thi-…

Wait…what they did? He was awake…HE WAS AWAKE!

_I…aliv...it…work…!_

For the first time, he’d beaten his bad luck! If he could move, he’d jump for joy.

That wasn’t happening at the moment so he settled for crying tears of joy instead.

Makoto wasn’t sure why it took him that long to realize the most important detail but he couldn’t wait to see everyone again.

The irritation practically melted away.

Now he was Super giddy instead, started swaying lightly and hummed a voiceless tune.

It was then that someone came into the room… and it wasn’t Mikan.

It was a different nurse and one he’d never seen before. She wore a customized Hope’s peak uniform like Mikan’s and kept her hair in a bun…from what he could decipher; she looked as young as he did….older than he did…he wasn’t a kid _okay_ , he just had to grow a bit.

The nurse moved to the desk in front of him and followed up by retrieving some documents.

What’s important was that she didn’t sparing a glance his way and just walked out of the room when she had finished.

 _What.The.Hell?_ He thought

That wasn’t normal, she should have at least checked up on him. Was she new? No, in that case she’d never be left alone and would have a supervisor at all times…was that worked? He couldn’t remember enough to confirm it.

For a moment, he’d entertained the scare that he was a ghost or just dreaming but the painful and weak sensations across his body were too realistic. He was definitely alive.

Makoto sighed. He’d never take speech for granted again.

With nothing to do, he directed his attention to the **open** window as he always did. The high rise made for a nice overlooking view across the city…it was a beautiful sight.

Time passed. Makoto didn’t know how long…could have been hours but his brain always stopped counting after a few minutes. At the very least, he’s regained sufficient control over his arms. He could actually touch his face now.

Scanning the room, his eyes locked onto the bed next to his. The same bed a certain someone occupied was perfectly well-kept. Did he not come back yet?

Makoto’s attention was drawn to the clock now within his vision. He had forgotten the room even had one but his worrisome memory loss wasn’t nearly as disturbing as what was on the clock itself.

The time read 7pm.

Why was this oddity worth noting? **Because it was impossible**. It was still daylight with the sun still high…the clock must be broken.

If it were that late then it should be the dead of night, we’re in Fall-

_H..uh?_

His heartbeat slowed as he turned his attention back to the window-view.  It was then that he took notice of a discrepancy that was staring at him right back in the face; the scenery that he had been staring at so dreamily for several minutes…if not considerably longer, **_should not have been there_**.

Following that train of thought, he recognized something out of place that he should have long ago as well. The window was wide open but he didn’t feel any cold coming from it.  Winter was right on the season’s heels. Compared to the fact that he was currently dressed lightly, it should be freezing. And like a trail leading to even bigger crumbs, the contradiction of the air conditioning made itself stupidly apparent. Why would the AC be turned on at this time? It should be blowing heat, not cold!

_?_

Luckily, the window wasn’t far of, less than 2 meters in length and not much taller. He stretched his arm to reach for the edge but failed to meet it…obviously.  In his anxious state, Makoto made the mistake of trying to force his body and fell gracelessly to the floor.

His muscles were so weak that he couldn’t move his legs and as a result was forced to crawl his way over.

The lack of cold could be dismissed as a heat fluke, which resulted in the need of A/C.

The clock could be dismissed as a mere malfunction.

Makoto slumped his body on the edge when he finally reached it, taking the opportunity to breathe deeply. He felt like he’d just run a marathon.

In the moment of truth, he brought his arm up to the window ledge and used it to raise himself and propped his elbows to allow him to see the city below.

His felt his heart drop as he stared wide-eyed at the busy streets. People passed by bare pavement; some riding bicycles, commercial stands out in the open. It was a perfectly normal scenario… that one would see in summer.

And even the buildings were not all as he’d remembered. Some were similar but others were brand new.

That was when the sound of glass and metal dropping to the floor. He let go of the ledge, dropped to the floor and motioned his body behind him – there he could see the nurse stare at him with a similarly shocked expression.

_Oh she saw him this time._

_“_ No way…” She said, as if mirroring his thoughts.

“D-Doctor!” She yelled as she ran out of the room again. This time with a more relevant purpose, he assumed.

Her screams alerted several others of various ages to the scene. Based on the similarity of their dress, they had to be patients.

“What’s going on?”

“Why’s he lying down over there? Is he okay?”

“Wait a second…ain’t this that sleeping kid’s room?”

“You’re right, I didn’t even recognize him! No wonder Sat-chin flipped out.”

“Can’t blame Satsuki when I’d have been shocked too, kiddo. This is pretty big seeing as _he’s been in a coma longer than you’ve been here_.”

“Shut it, you blockheads. He can hear you.” The last quieted them down but he had already heard enough.

“Co…ma?” Makoto’s vocal cords decided to work for the first time since he awoke.

\---

When the nurse returned, she helped him up back to the bed and introduced herself as Satsuki Kirishima, the Ultimate Nurse.

Makoto twitched violently as he heard the moniker, which the girl no doubt recognized as she jotted down notes the after catching his reaction. The doctor came soon after but Makoto didn’t take particular notice of him.

Hope’s Peak accepted talents on a singular basis. The Ultimate Lucky Student title was merely a lottery award therefore it was possible to have more than one at a time. Other talents weren’t so malleable and HPA only had one during a student’s term. Certain talents could overlap such as the Ultimate Martial Artist and the Ultimate swordswoman or the Ultimate Pop Sensation and Ultimate Musician…but they were never the same. Not so long as the student who held the current title was still enrolled in the academy. The Ultimate nurse was one such title…then who was this person and where was Mikan?

It wasn’t easy to ask. Anything more than slurring a single word was beyond him…of course, that means he obviously couldn’t answer their questions either so he settled for nodding/shaking his head at yes or no questions.

They began by testing the parameters of what he could and couldn’t answer. Questions such as ‘can you move which part of your body’ or ‘do you know where you are’ came about. He had no trouble following them as long as they talked slowly but if their pace stilled too much then he’d get annoyed.

The one that caught his attention the most was the first question posed to him ‘do you remember your name?’. It was a carefully laded inquiry that glossed over the hidden meaning. The doctor treated it no differently than all the other questions as to hide the purpose and if it had been asked  not long after he woke, Makoto had no doubt that it would have worked.

“I think we have a good understanding of the situation now. You’re a very lucky man, Mr.Naegi.”  Lucky? That was probably still true all things considered. The doctor informed him that they would notify his family about his ‘recovery’. Afterwards, he whispered something into the nurse’s ear and left, leaving her behind to watch over him. They often spoke in vague terms, enough to reassure his safety but not so much as he’d realize what was going on.

“Would it be alright if I called you, Makoto?” She asked.

He nodded, not particularly bothered by it.

“Great! Need anything?”

Answers but he was unlikely to get any…but he could ask another way.

“Mi…kan” He mouthed.

“Huh…you’re hungry?  I’m not sure it’s alright for you to eat any solid foods right now.”

He shook his head.

“Tsumiki.”

“Ooooh…uh” She faked a coughed. “She’s not in right now but I’m sure you’ll being seeing her very soon.” Makoto wasn’t sure of just how much of her words he could trust but it’s not like these were bad people. Anything they did would be in his best interests, thus he saw no reason to inquire further.

“It’s probably for the best if you stay awake for a while. Can you do that?”

“Yes.” Sleep was the very last thing that came to mind. In fact, he’d had enough of it.

For the next while, she entertained him with interactions and playful (if one-sided) banter. At times she used words he didn’t really understand but the gist was clear.

Makoto was wary at first but before he realized it, he’d become fully receptive to her presence. As expected of someone with that talent, it didn’t take her long at all to place the subject at relative ease. Based on observing her behavior, Makoto presumed she was the high-strung type considering she got too enthusiastic at points, which often overshadowed the professional character she _tried_ to maintain.

Sometime later, he heard a knock from behind the door. Satsuki opened the door and remained there, conversing with someone and at a wavelength that wasn’t audible to him.

The nursed peeked over to him and waved goodbye.

Makoto tilted his head in confusion. An emotion that was only heightened as a ‘newcomer’ came into view where the nurse had left.

He took immediate notice of her lengthy, well-kept black hair and white coat. She approached his bedside, placed an arm on his dull lap and gazed at him warmly. There was something familiar about it but also incredibly out-of-place.

He had been around long enough to tell her attire was indicative of rather high standing. Even the ID on the woman’s chest wrote ‘Head of Department’… what did someone like that want with him?

“I heard you called for me.” She finally said, sitting down.

Makoto gaped.  Now that he analyzed her closely, he knew that voice and her face, while matured was still recognizable.

It wasn’t necessary to do something as uncouth as ask for her name. It was

“Mikan….”

“I’m glad you remember me, Makoto. Are you feeling well?” She said, without stuttering or tripping over her words.

She looked like a completely different person. Her appearance had changed enough for him to not recognize her at a glance however the greatest disparity lied in how she carried herself. The Mikan he knew was a timid girl who would turn into crying mess if you poked her a little but the ~~older~~ version in front him exuded none of that meekness.  Had it been anyone else, he’d have thought she was intimidating.

But it was Mikan!

He nodded and smiled. If he could move, he’d hug her.

“Happy to hear that. Do I seem different to you?” She asked gently. His heart beat a little faster as she did.

“Yes!” He shouted as high as he could…which would probably have been what he normally could do.

She giggled “That’s natural but It’s not a bad change I hope?”

This time he shook his head furiously.

“I see…but what about you? Do you feel any differently from before?”

“Yeah.” It was getting easier to pronounce his words or maybe he was just more invested in talking to someone this time.

“I’m sure you’re uncomfortable but you’ll have to bear with it while we try to help. There’s nothing _wrong_ but you’re severely low on blood-sugar right now and that might affect your reactions to the surrounding area.”

Huh…well that explained the increasing frustration at everything that moved.

“Do you remember the last time we _really_ talked?” She asked.

He gave a thoughtful expression. The accentuated word meant the last significant conversation the two had…which would be… oh right, the handcuffs. Looking back on it now, that was ridiculous.

He giggled.

“Aaah, based on your reaction, I take it you remember? Sorry about that…it was absolutely ridiculous of me – handcuffing you to the bed so you wouldn’t leave… it’s such an juvenile memory for me now.” She muttered. “Still, how did you get free? My memory of that time gets blurry after a while.”

“Junko’s…sis..ter.”

“Mukuro? I figured that was the case but it’s nice to have someone finally confirm it. For nearly 3 years, Junko dodged the question whenever I asked.”

Makoto giggled again. That definitely sounded like the fashionista. Sounds like she hadn’t changed at all.

Mikan rubbed his legs tenderly.

“Oh well, I want to think she’s maturing too. There should be a point where you’re too old to keep messing with people’s heads.” Mikan sighed.

Is there?

‘And now, I think I’m able to stand on equal footing with her…instead of being the one dragged along.”

That was good to hear. He had always thought Mikan needed more self-esteem. She was a great person, who just couldn’t see it at the time.

Still…3 years was it?

He laughed morbidly.

Mikan had mentioned that vital timeframe so casually that he hadn’t even picked up on its significance until long after it was said and by then, he’d accepted it. All of her questions had been with a purpose, to test his memory and ease him into the situation without him knowing and causing panic – What the previous individuals had tried and failed, she’d done it seamlessly. When had Mikan gotten so smooth?

Guess she earned that promotion.

He pointed to her chest

“You noticed? Yes, I got promoted recently. The youngest ever, I hear.”

 _I knew you could do it, Mikan_ – were the words he wanted to convey. He couldn’t so he let his expressions attempt it in his stead.

“Thank you, Makoto. That…means a lot to me.” She had apparently gotten the message. “It wasn’t easy, you know. After you left, I felt like I had failed at the only thing I was ever good at. I had almost wanted to quit but then I thought about what you would say to me if I gave up. These last few years I wanted to change myself, to grow out of that sheltered and dependent girl who manipulated the people I was supposed to care for. To become a person anyone would be proud of, a person _I_ could be proud of so I wouldn’t fail again.” Mikan explained.

Makoto placed his bony hands over hers and gave her the biggest smile he could muster.

“…Thank you, again. Do you want to see yourself? I have a mirror with me.”

Naegi’s chest tightened at the prospect. He’d almost denied her but where would that get him? He’d have to face the music eventually and like Sayaka said, he should have confidence.

Mikan reached for a pocket mirror in her coat and showed it to him.

He looked…thin…really thin and his _hair;_ that damn ahoge had grown longer. Why didn’t anyone cut it for him!? Oh, there was his low blood-sugar acting up again.

It wasn’t as bad as he thought. He just needed to eat a little and he’d be right back to normal. The bigger problem was not knowing whether he _grew –_ he couldn’t tell if he shed the baby face and got taller in his current condition. Damn it all.

3 years…heh. He kind of looked a little like Komaeda now, he’d say even the albino was better off than him. Makoto didn’t know how Komaeda did it but he managed to look good even with the ghostly hair and pale skin. Not that he’d ever listen whenever Makoto or anyone told him.

…Did Komaeda still hate him after all this time? Makoto wondered.

Makoto turned towards the neat bed next to his and then back to Mikan

“Ko-maeda?”

“Ah, I forgot about Komaeda, did you remember something about him?” Mikan replied, with a smile; one ever so thin compared to the others.

Makoto shook his head “Where…is…he?”

“…Could you wait for an answer some time later? I would prefer to keep this conversation more relevant to you.” Her tone became slightly stricter, as if she wanted to steer him away from that direction…but that only made him anxious.

“Where?” He asked again.

“I wish you would have avoided that subject.” Mikan replied after a term of silence. “Do you really want to know?”

Makoto hesitantly nodded.

“I see…very well. I wasn’t telling you the whole truth before. You falling into a coma weren’t the only reason I decided to improve myself. We had another incident occur some time after and it involved Komaeda. ” She said, now speaking with the authority and professionalism befitting her status.

Makoto furrowed his eyebrows in confusion and found his breath quickening.

Mikan motioned to cup his cheek in an attempt to calm him down.  Afterwards, she brought him into a warm embrace and brought his head towards her bosom. It worked somewhat as he felt the anxiety lessen drastically.

“I’m sorry to relay this to you, however Komaeda's body couldn't take it anymore. He passed away two years ago.”

**Author's Note:**

> This serves as the sequel to Transience, from Makoto's PoV. Most of the (wonderful) comments in that story said it was beautiful. Well if that was a fairy-tale like story, this fic would be its deconstruction into a more realistic format and acts as the behind-the-scenes detailing of events.
> 
> As for anyone wondering why Makoto barely thinks about Kyouko after he wakes up? It’s because he’s only responding to the immediate stimuli in his surroundings, which is why he doesn’t ask for relevant others like his family but instead for Mikan and Komaeda, who he directly associates with the ward. Anything more requires conscious effort and brainpower that he can't muster without crashing. Details about Kyouko in particular are being subconsciously roadblocked because Makoto’s late to a deadline by a few years. He’d spur into a panic if he remembered all at once.
> 
> I plan on making this a trilogy, with the last part coming out at whatever convenience.


End file.
